I miss you

AN: I guess you can consider this a Brendon one shot, but really, i just used his name and his resemblance, the story is totally fictional and came out of nowhere. Enjoy.

When the Moon fell in love with the Sun

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Her heart was racing in her chest as she hurried down the sidewalk, trailing her purse out behind her, having it over her shoulder would be too inconvenient. He was only here for a few days and she needed to see him. The thought of holding him again was making her very soul swell.

She knew what she meant to him, and normally that would bother her, but in the case of this man, it was of none of her concern. Her heart was racing faster still, the memories flashing through her mind were merely making her footsteps quicker.

Every time she saw him on television, or saw a picture of him here and there, it only escalated her insatiable lust for him. He wasn’t classically attractive by any standards, no. But to her, it meant nothing. Something about him was undeniably sexy, undeniably necessary.

While she continued walking, she decided his apartment was much to far away, her need was growing greater by the second. Once she saw his apartment in view, she slowed her pace, she didn’t want to seem desperate, although that’s all she was. Desperate. She opened the door to the lobby, buzzing his apartment, impatiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs. It felt like and hour had passed before he buzzed her up…

He placed the phone down and smiled. Whenever he needed her, he knew she would be there no questions asked. It didn’t matter to either of them that they were in exclusive relationships, when it came to each other, the dirty little secret was their favorite hobby. It was something he never felt ashamed of and it was something he craved whenever he was home. He just wanted to touch her skin, run his fingers through her soft hair and whisper empty promises in her ear.

He walked to the bathroom and fussed up his hair slightly, sighing and shrugging, he was sure that it didn’t much matter what he looked like at this point. He shoved some things around the floor, into the corners of each room to make his apartment look cleaner than it was, followed by making sure his bedroom looked well enough for her. She wasn’t his girlfriend or anything but she didn’t deserve to sleep with him in a messy bed. As he was fixing the sheets, he heard the buzzer go off, leaping out of the room in anticipation. He buzzed her up, smoothing his shirt down, before opening the door. He leaned against the door frame and took her in. He dark blonde hair was slightly disheveled and her face was flushed. He could tell she dropped everything and rushed over.

“Hey,” he said, giving her that half smile that made her knees weak. She smiled shyly, noting the way his unruly shaggy brown hair stuck out in the oddest places.

“Hi.” He backed away and held his arm out indicating that she should walk inside. As she did so, she removed her jacket, walking over to the couch and tossing it over the arm.

“You’ve been gone such a long time, Brendon,” she said. He nodded and shrugged.

“’Tis the life I choose to live, Aly” She smiled. When they met four years ago she never would have imagined he’d be who he was today. She wasn’t going to deny that he had changed, she wasn’t going to say she approved of the change either. He was different in a negative way, he always brought out the worst in her. When he wasn’t around, she never did drugs or anything bad. When he wasn’t around she was a passive, introvert type.

It didn’t take more than a second for Brendon to work his magic over Aly. All he had to do was smile at her, and she was complete putty in his hands, she would do anything he asked now. Brendon knew of how easy it had become to control Aly, to make her what he wanted her to be, even if it wasn’t like her at all. He grabbed her hand, and Aly felt her world shift on its axis as their skin grazed each other. Shivers went up her back as he led her down the hall to his room. She glanced in the crack of the door to his room mate Jon’s room, seeing him quietly strumming his guitar with a joint perched between his lips. The smell hit her almost immediately as they passed, it was so pungent he must’ve been in there smoking and strumming for hours.

Aly’s brain began humming, she was forever a light weight, and she remembered how it felt to be around Brendon. Her tongue loose in her moth, her brain lucid with thoughts. She never felt more open then she did when she got a whiff of his home grown marijuana cologne. It was too late now for her to wonder if she was open now to all the wrong things, it was too late to run now, her brain already beginning to haze, and suddenly her mood was changing. She looked up just in time to hear the door close behind her as Brendon smiled at her again with that cocked grin, reaching into his back pocket to produce his favorite herb. She walked over to his dresser and removed his lighter, passing it to him. He took a long drag then held it out for her to take but she shook her head and pushed his hand back at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stubbing the flame and tucking the joint behind his ear.

“I’m not in the mood. The second hand from Jon was enough,” she giggled. Brendon rolled his eyes and laid back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Aly felt herself blush as his torso was now visible from his shirt bunch up slightly between him and the bed sheet, she wasn’t going to let this happen tonight. He folded his hands now behind his head, taking a deep breath before shutting his eyes. Aly shook off her random nervousness she was beginning to feel over the now weird sense of hostility and sat down on the bed beside him.

“You know, I’m not really into the sound on the new record,” she said, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap. She smiled to herself, she had finally done it. The wall was up and as sexy as Brendon could be, he was going to have to break this wall down to get what he wanted.

Brendon couldn’t help but smile at her musical comment, he was waiting for her to bring it up, “Aly, I don’t care.”

“I know you don’t care, Brendon, I just needed you to know.”

“No one ever likes change, it’s something I braced myself for.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like change, I just said I don’t agree with your direction.”

“It took more than just me to choose this new sound.”

“I’m not just talking music anymore…” Brendon let his eyes open. The ceiling was pulsing above him, he could feel tension radiating from Aly. He sat up on his elbows and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I just mean…when we met you were just beginning to discover who you were outside of your religion, outside of your home and now…I still don’t think you know.”

“I am who I am. You try being in my shoes and see what it does to you. Everything I was taught to fear is now in front of me with no one to tell me no. So I’ve taken it all, I’m going to live how I want and do what I please with what I want.”

“Does that include me?” Brendon stared hard into Aly’s eyes.

“What does that mean?” Aly sighed, tilting her head back and looking at the dark ceiling.

“I don’t look like any of your former girlfriends, do I? You’ve never acknowledged me to anyone publicly. It’s like I don’t fit into the mold of who you should be with, so all I am to you is an aside. I came here tonight just wanting to be lost in your arms like always, to be able to take you for granted for just one night like always, but now…”

“I thought you liked it…being my favorite secret?”

“I thought I did too…” Brendon sat up, mimicking Aly’s sitting position only facing her although she was staring at her feet. He didn’t know what to say. All of the real feelings he had ever felt for Aly were deeply repressed. He wanted nothing more than to tell her what his subconscious knew too well, but this was Aly. He couldn’t talk to her like that, he could only whisper empty promises in her ear in the heat of the moment.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” He really didn’t. It would be so easy to tell her he loved her. It would be so easy now to reach forward and pull her head to his shoulder and rub her back. It would be so easy to kiss her and make it mean something. But, he wouldn’t.

“Just say you love me?” Aly asked, finally tearing her eyes away from her socks and into his large, round, empty brown eyes. On complete impulse, Brendon leaned forward and placed his big, soft lips on hers in an awkward sort of kiss. Aly opened her mouth slightly to kiss him back. The pair kissed for a few minutes before Brendon got the courage to pull himself away. Aly exhaled deeply, she had never been kissed like that in her life.

“I’m too afraid,” Brendon replied.

“I’m fucking terrified,” Aly whispered.

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