I miss you

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 15 - "You're looking high strung, sugar." (part one)

AN: Okay so….I'm really sick you guys. So if this chapter doesn’t make ANY sense at all, I'm fucking delirious. It's more like a filler chapter, cos at the end I finally figured out what I wanted to happen next, the rest of it is more like…setting up what's going on two months later with Pete and Corbin. Enjoy and review!

Title: "By Tonight" - Say Anything

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Pete was surprising himself by the amount of interest he was taking in Corbin's pregnancy. He spent time checking out websites and books, making sure he knew exactly what was going on in Corbin's body. Corbin was a very uncomfortable three and half months pregnant and with her and Pete in the process of moving, it was really forcing them into their first test as housemates. She wined to him about having their bed be the first thing to go into the house due to the amount of back pain she was feeling lately and Pete was getting no help from her in unpacking boxes and putting things away. He chose to let her sleep so he wouldn't have to deal with her insane mood swings and contestant bitching about feeling exhausted. Don’t get him wrong, he was fascinated with her pregnancy, but sometimes the extra stuff just got to be too much, and there was still six months to go. Patrick was over at their house practically daily and it was starting to get on Pete's nerves. He was glad that Patrick and Corbin were becoming better friends, but he was almost starting to feel replaced in certain ways.

            Corbin would always bitch about to Pete, complaining about every muscle that hurt and every mood swing would be in his presence. But Patrick was good for an ear; he was good to rub her sore back, he was good whenever Corbin needed comfort, and it seemed to Pete that he was pretty much there to pay the bills. The simple moment it took him and Corbin to reconnect had faded fast and it was depressing Pete beyond belief.

Patrick hadn't been around the house all day to Pete's great surprise and it was nearing on ten at night. Corbin was asleep on their bedroom floor; she had begun to open a box but didn't get through it before passing out. Pete smiled at her. He wondered what he had to say or do to make them okay once again. He walked up to her and nudged her lightly, and she let her eyes squint open and stared at Pete. It made her feel guilty the way he always looked at her like she was the only thing in the world that even made him happy anymore. Taking a break from the Hollywood life was not suiting Pete. He was always the one who loved constantly being busy and these days he didn't do much. He was still managing his record label and his company, but wasn’t out on the party scene anymore and Fall Out Boy was on a hiatus while Corbin was pregnant. She was becoming increasingly more attracted to Patrick, always thinking about that image of him holding their child and singing to it. It made her melt inside and she wanted it to be real in the worst way. Six months? It was just too long. Pete reached down and grabbed her hand, helping her to her feet. She smiled at him and he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. She pulled away and retreated to her bed, wanting to fall asleep so bad, but she felt Pete's eyes on her and she wanted to know why he was staring at her. She pulled the covers down from her face and looked at him.

            "What, Peter?" she asked. He merely shrugged. He pulled off his pants and approached the bed, kind of wanting to make love to her, kind of wanting to just fall asleep on her chest. He wasn’t sure which, but had a feeling he wasn't getting either. He wanted to rediscover her, he felt so removed. He remembered when they first started dating three years ago they would do this thing called "playing". They would lay naked together and just kiss whatever they wanted to kiss and explore every inch of each other. He missed that. He got in bed to see Corbin rolled over facing away from him. He sighed. He scooted over to be close to her and wrapped his right arm around her waist. He lifted his head to nuzzle her hair a little, trying to get her to look at him. She reached back and swatted him away.

            "Stop Pete. I'm tired," she said. Pete groaned and forced her onto her back and strattled her body. He was sick of feeling like an outsider to her, after only two months of being perfect again.

            "Pete! Get off! I'm serious! I just want to go to bed," Corbin said, shoving at his chest. He shook his head and grabbed her hands, bringing them down to her sides. He leaned forward and placed his lips on her and kissed her gently. After a minute of butterfly kisses, he backed away and looked her in the eyes. The harsh stare she had a minute ago had faded.

            "Let’s play," Pete said. Corbin almost giggled. She hadn't heard him ask her to play in years. She groaned.

            "No, I'm fat now. I don't want to," she replied, faking her disinterest.

            "Oh, please; like I care anyway. Come on," He said, starting to tug at the bottom of her shirt. Corbin huffed and tried to hold back a smile. This was the Pete she missed everyday. He wasn't the same since the night Corbin almost died. It was like she was a fragile piece of porcelain and if he held her too tight or too loose, she would break. She wanted him to treat her like he used to. She wasn't planning on drinking at all while she was pregnant, aside from a glass of wine on the rare occasion. She reached down and pulled her shirt off. She wasn't showing her pregnancy at all yet, and probably wouldn't for another month or so because she was thin. Pete looked down adoringly at her naked upper body. Corbin bit her lip and tried hard not to smile as he kissed the top of her breasts. She reached her hands down and pulled his shirt up and he leaned back so she could pull it over his head. She tossed the shirt onto the floor and Pete put his kisses back onto her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying this rare bout of romanticism from Pete. She was reminded of all the times she would sneak into his parent's house after his family was asleep and they would just play for hours. Sex was never more important then knowing each other from the outside-in. Pete broke away from their kiss and waited for Corbin to make the next move. She leaned forward and drug him back down to her, her kiss much more heated then before. She ran her right hand down Pete's back and let it rest on his lower back. Pete pulled away from their kiss again and ran his right hand down her left arm, then leaned forward to kiss her shoulder. She smiled at him, finally willing to let go of the guilt she had for now and just enjoy being with Pete. It had been so long, she had almost forgotten how sweet he could actually be; she was spending so much time with Patrick that she was forgetting Pete needed her attention, too. She wiggled her way out from underneath him and told him to lie on his back. She strattled him this time, and took her time kissing all over in his neck and chest. Pete sighed and moaned appropriately, letting Corbin do what she wanted. She reached down and tugged his boxer briefs away, Pete wasn't really too aroused and she liked it that way for now. She laid her head on his chest and just listened to his heart beat for a minute. Pete stroked her hair and looked down at her, loving this moment right now. Corbin reached down and took of her shorts and underwear so they could both be naked. Pete sat up so Corbin was still on top of him, sitting on his lap and he pressed his lips against hers. She wrapped her legs around his back, suddenly feeling reminded of what was really going on. Didn't this position get her in trouble before? Corbin pulled away from Pete and scooted over away from him, pulling her knees to her chest and pulling the blankets up over her body. Pete was shocked for a minute before he realized what was going on. He was getting really bored with this attitude she was exuding, he wanted Corbin to just let him love her again.

            "Core, what's wrong? Why can't we just do this like we used to?" he asked. She buried her face in the comforter, not expecting Pete to understand what she was feeling. She felt so guilty. All she could ever do was think about what she did to Pete and what she was continuing to do with Patrick. They were so discrete about it, she knew he had no clue, but she just couldn't get enough of him. He touched her in ways Pete never even thought of and he said things to her Pete would never dare say.

            "Pete…I'm just really tired okay? And I don't feel very well and I'm a little uncomfortable with me right now. I'm sorry," she said, lying down and wrapping the blankets all around her so Pete couldn't touch her. She didn't feel okay lying to him anymore, but she knew she couldn't very well be honest either. They had just mended and things were going so well. She loved their home and the feeling it gave her. For the first time she could ever remember, she was stable and had a place to call her own. Why did she always have to do this?

This Bitter Pill by getupngo

Chapter 14- she'll have you begging, please, please, please…stay.

Title- "Stay" - Ben Jelen

Corbin sat jiggling her left leg, her butt cold on the hard plastic seat. She was staring off into space, thinking about what she was going to experience soon. She never thought she would ever have to be sitting where she was right now. She got distracted from her thoughts by a little boy dumping a box of legos onto the floor. She sighed. He was so cute. She would never know if her child was going to be cute like him. If it would get an awesome singing voice like her and Patrick's; she would never if it was going to have her light brown hair and brown eyes or if it was going to score Patrick's red hair and pale blue eyes. She would never even know if they were having a boy or a girl. She looked down at her lap and felt tears forming down in her confused heart. She was having second thoughts…

            Pete was sitting beside Corbin, always he support system, trying to fill out her paper work so it allowed Corbin time to collect her thoughts. But he was thoroughly distracted by the little boy sitting contently playing with legos. It had only just hit him…he wanted a child badly. He looked back down at the clipboard and decided he couldn't fill out anything more. He looked over at Corbin to see her sitting with her head down and her eyes closed. She almost looked like she was praying. Pete sat the clipboard down on the empty seat next to him and put his right arm around Corbin's shoulder. She lifted her head to look at him and he smiled at her encouragingly. She laid her head on his shoulder and started wishing Patrick was there. She wanted him to burst in and tell her not to do it, that he would do all he could to be there for their baby. Corbin blinked back her tears; she didn't want to show Pete that she wasn't sure if she wanted to do this anymore.

            Corbin closed her eyes and tried to think happy thoughts until her name was called. She tried to think of fun times on tour and anything else good in her life, but the visual image that came to her only made her tears begin to fall. She saw Patrick, holding a baby in a rocking chair and singing to it softly. Looking at it like he finally found the missing piece to his life's puzzle. Corbin sat up straight and blinked at her tears, hastily wiping them from her eyes.

            "You okay?" Pete asked her. Corbin shook her head and looked at him, letting him see the pain in her eyes. She didn't want to do this.

            "Corbin Miller?" she heard suddenly. She tore her eyes away from Pete and looked at the nurse waiting patiently for her. She looked back at Pete quickly and he nodded, reaching out to hug her.

            "I'll be here when you get out," he said as he watched her stand up. Corbin muttered a thank you and followed the nurse back behind the door…

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            Patrick sat quietly in his house, not paying attention to the game Joe and Andy were currently entangled with. Today was the day Corbin was having her abortion and Patrick had a weird, anxious feeling in his body. He didn't know what, but something was going to happen today that was going to be huge, he could just feel it. His phone rang suddenly and the caller ID read 'Pete'. Patrick sighed, he wasn't in the mood for Pete today.

            "Hello?" he asked, deciding to answer it anyway.

            "Patrick? Do you think you could come to my house…like now? It's kind of an emergency," Pete said. Patrick wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear crying in the background and assumed Corbin had gone through with it and was in some kind of distress over it.

            "Yeah, I'm on my way," he said. He told Joe and Andy not to break anything and that he would be back soon. He arrived at Pete's house to find no one home besides Pete and Corbin and he walked up to Pete's room and knocked softly on the door. He was surprised when Corbin came over to it and let him in. Pete was no where in sight and it was making Patrick nervous. He took a seat on the computer chair and watched Corbin begin to pace, wearily. 

            "Patrick…I…shit. I didn't do it! I couldn't go through with it, I'm sorry! I know this is probably the last thing you want right now but I just could bring myself to do it. I want this, as weird as that sounds, but I want this baby," she said stopping in front of him when she was finished. Patrick didn't want to show it, but he was incredibly relieved to hear that she didn't have the abortion. He kind of wanted to know what a child of his was going to be like.

            "What made you change your mind?" he asked her, seriously interested in her change of heart. She had seemed so adamant about it earlier. Corbin sat down on the bed in front of him, feeling slightly embarrassed at her thoughts.

            "I closed my eyes for a minute while I was waiting and do you know what I saw? You. You and our baby. You were sitting there, just holding it and singing to it and I realized that I couldn't get rid of it. I want that from you and from Pete. I just…I want a family, I guess. I wish it didn't have to be under these kind of circumstances, but it is what it is. So, you're okay with this?" she asked him. He nodded.

            "I'm definitely okay with this," he said and stood up to hug Corbin tightly. He knew that he and Corbin would never be together, he wasn't sure that they should, but he knew that they were both in this parenting thing together and that Pete was going to be there too. Corbin and Patrick sat and talked for a while about baby names and places to put a crib when Pete walked in and smiled. Pete wasn't going to be a dad, technically, but he and Corbin were going to try a relationship again and they were going to try and raise her baby together with Patrick.

            Patrick stood up right when Pete walked in and told them he would talk to them later and left. Pete smiled and Corbin and walked up to her, kissing her gently on the lips. It felt so good to feel her again.

            "Guess what?" he asked her. She shook her head, indicating she didn't know. "I just put an offer in on a house. So soon, you, me, Hemmingway and baby are going to have our own place to make messy," he finished. Corbin laughed and looked at the dog, napping peacefully spread out on Pete's bed. She leaned over and kissed Pete for a minute, fully amazed at the turn of events. For the first time in weeks, she finally felt okay again. She was back with Pete, the one and only guy in the world for her and they were starting a family. Granted it was Patrick's baby, but they had decided on working on a stronger friendship for the sake of their child.

            "I love you, Peter," Corbin whispered to him. He smiled at her and drug her down on the bed with him, Corbin in little spoon position.

            "I love you, too Core."

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 13- I’d trade wisdom back in for innocence

            Title: "Slow Down" - Ben Jelen

Corbin sat down on her suitcase when she was tired of walking. She had taken the bus as close to Pete's house as she could get and then walked a little way and stopped. She sat shivering, huddling into herself to try and get warm. She couldn't believe this was her life. She could see the light on in Pete's room from where she was sitting across the street and wondered what he was doing. He was probably moping about in his usual fashion, causing some kind of drama. She imagined he probably drove home, stormed in the front door and freaked out of his parents over something stupid. He probably marched upstairs and put on some whiney music and texted his friends about how horrible his life was. The truth of the matter was that Pete had it good. Damn good. Corbin was homeless, pregnant, alone and freezing. She sighed and watched her breath drift away in the air. What she wouldn't give to be little spoon in Pete's bed right now…

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            Pete could think of nothing. It was pretty much all he felt, he had been sitting on his bed staring at the wall for hours. He was numb all over. He didn't even need his pills to take away his anxiety because he had none. He was in a vegetative state and found nothing that was able to pull him out. He drove home from the hospital in complete silence, refusing to let his mind go over the words again and again, "The DNA is not a match." He walked into the front door, half noticing the way his parents looked at him in concern. He probably looked as pale as a ghost. He felt like one. He felt all of his plans for his life slowly slipping between his fingers. The girl he loved was carrying a child that wasn't his, but his best friends. He had a hopeless feeling deep down in his body and couldn't think of how to rid himself of it. He missed her. Regardless of what had happened, he wasn't sure he cared that it was Patrick's baby and not his. He just wanted Corbin. He had always just loved her for everything she was, even her mistake. He loved every flaw on her skin and every mark on her soul. As his eyes drifted sightlessly around his room, they suddenly landed on a picture of him and Corbin and he smiled at it. She gave it to him the week he was recovering in the hospital. He still attributed that picture to how fast he recovered. He kept the little post-it note she gave to him with it attached on the frame:

No matter how low you think you've gotten

No matter how much you think no one cares

I'll always be by your side. I love you, Peter.

- ♥ Corbin

            He sighed. They looks so happy there. What happened? And where was she now? Her promise seemed do empty, even though he knew he was the one who had pushed her away. He grabbed the picture and stared at until his vision got blurry. His mom suddenly yelled up to him and Pete snapped back, wiping at the tears he didn't remember crying. A few minutes later there was a knock on his bedroom door. Pete put the picture from down and slowly walked to the door, ready to tell his mom he wasn't hungry and he just needed to be alone, but when he opened the door, it wasn't his mom at all.

            "Patrick? What are you doing here?" Pete asked, feeling extremely uncomfortable for the first time ever in Patrick's presence. Patrick pushed past him and sat down on the bed closest to them. Pete shifted in his spot, no sure what to say to his long time friend. Patrick groaned suddenly and stood up.

            "Ever since she told me, I can't stop thinking about it. A kid? Dude, I'm still a kid! I'm not even sure I like children. I don't know what to do here and I can't stand the thought of what this must be doing to you. I just want you to know how sorry I am. I shouldn't have done this to you but I wasn't thinking. I just got wrapped up in the crazy moment  and I wish I could take it back. God, do I ever…" and he sat back down again. Pete didn't know what to tell him. He was about to walk to the other bed to sit and talk to Patrick when another knock came on his door. Pete huffed, turning around to open it,

            "Mom! Can you please just give us a minute? I'll be down…" but his voice got lost in his throat when he opened it to see Corbin. Her hair was wet from what he assumed was snowfall and she looked frozen. Forgetting all their problems for a minute, he quickly ran to the other bed and drug the blanket off of it and wrapped it around her, rubbing her shoulders. Corbin smiled at him wearily, secretly astounded by the care he was showing her. Patrick rubbed his hands on his thighs uncomfortably; feeling like the air in the room suddenly became extremely thick. Corbin sat down on Pete's computer chair and wrapped the blanket around her tighter, just noticing Patrick sitting on the opposite side of the room. As she had nothing but time to think lately, she had increasing got madder at him for just letting her leave, regardless of the skank in his house. Pete just realized who the people were sitting in his room and cleared his throat. Corbin stood up and walked over to Patrick and sat down next to him, so they were both facing away from Pete. Pete wanted to give them as much privacy as he could, so he sat down at his computer and pretended to be looking for something.

            Corbin wasn't sure what she was going to say to Patrick, but she had figured out her own personal solution, and just wanted to make sure he was okay with it. Patrick couldn't bring himself to look at her. He felt so bad for letting her go yesterday.

            "Patrick…I just want you to know I've figured out a solution that works for me. I just want your okay on it," Corbin spoke up first. He nodded at his feet, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, "I'm getting an abortion. That's all I can think of that will make everything relatively okay." Patrick's head shot up and he looked at her, his jaw hanging open slightly. He shook his head. An abortion? But, that was so…final. There had to be another way.

            Pete was only half looking at the computer, mostly trying to hear what Corbin was saying. He spun around in his chair when he heard her mutter abortion. He looked just in time to see Patrick look at her stunned. He knew that was the last thing Patrick would want to do about their situation.

            "Corbin…I…abortion? Why? Can't you just give it up for adoption, something? Anything? Why this?" he questioned her, He just couldn't understand why someone would choose something so incredibly irreversible.

            "Because I can't expect you to just drop everything in your life to help me. I wouldn't want you to. And no offense, but I don't think of you like this. You’re my ex-boyfriend's best friend. I don't want to be a problem for you anymore. This is the only solution that makes complete sense." Patrick tried his hardest to get his brain around what was happening. He felt like ultimately he really didn't have a say in what she did because it was her body. Pete stood up and began walking to them.

            "Core, I just think you should think about how you'll feel after it's over. If you're sure this is what you want, they we will support you," Pete said, sitting down behind Patrick. Patrcik turned around to stare at him. It was just like Pete to put his ideals into everyone's mouth when no one wanted him to speak. But he nodded, feeling pretty worn out mentally. Corbin nodded.

            "I know this is what I want."

"Love is Only Love" (Jwalk really rocks ass here)

Chapter 8- another head aches, another heart breaks

After his bath had gone cold Ryan had quickly thrown on some boxers and a t-shirt before climbing into bed and passing out to the sounds of his bandmates partying in the next room.  He knew he should have probably gone in there with them but he was too mentally and physically exhausted to contemplate it for more then a few seconds before he was asleep.
     The next morning Ryan woke up and glanced at the clock which told him it was just about 11a.m.  Today was a planned lazy day where no one really had to do anything other then relax and recover from the following evening.  Looking over to the other bed Ryan wasn't surprised to see Brendon and Britney still completely passed out from their escapades the previous evening.  Shuffleing into the bathroom, and kicking random clothing items out of the way on his trip there, Ryan closed the door and proceeded to go about his typical ritual--pee, wash up, brush teeth---before shuffeling back out and grabbing the clothes his sleep fogged mind had forgotten.  Once back in the bathroom he quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and chucks.  Staring at his face in the mirror he ran a comb through his hair in a half assed attempt at making it not look like 'post-sex' hair.
     'considering there was no sex to be had I really shouldn't look like there was. I guess this is what I get for not drying my hair before bed' Ryan thought to himself sarcastically while walking out of the bathroom.  Grabbing a key card, his wallet, sidekick, and a hoodie in case it was cold out Ryan marched purposefully out of the room and headed towards the elevator banks.  Turning the corner he was surprised to see of all people Jon standing and waiting for the elevator.  Wearing a pair of sunglasses, with a hood pulled over his head, and looking utterly miserable.
     "Long night" Ryan stated LOUDLY after sneaking up on him.
     "JESUS!" Jon jumped and spun around glaring at Ryan "Don't be a dick."
     "ha...hungover much? what time did you go to sleep anyway?"
     "To be perfectly honest, I don't remember" Jon muttered sheepishly while Ryan proceeded to crack up as they stepped into the elevator and headed down to the lobby.
     "thats what you get then. Drinking freaking whisky all night." Ryan said between laughs.
     "your such a good friend dude. Thanks. To make things worse there isn't one asprin in our entire room, yours either." Jon stated, the strain of his headache showing in the tone of his voice.
     "well, that sucks. I thought we had a whole bunch of that kind of crap?" Ryan asked confusedly.
     "yea, so did I. but apparently not." Jon answered as they stepped off the elevator cautiously. Glancing around the boys were relieved to see that apparently the fans had not discovered what hotel they were staying at as the lobby wasn't any busier then it would normally be on a weekday morning. Quickly heading over to the resturant they stopped short at the enterance and read the sign that stated clearly complementary breakfast was over at ten.  
     "well thats shitty," Jon started "I wanted grease."
     "umm...I think there is this coffee shop diner thingy around the corner." Ryan added with a very unsure tone to his voice.
     "you think?" Jon asked for clarification.
     "No, I know there is. I just don't know if we should leave the hotel without Zach." Ryan said glancing out the doors of the hotel to the busy Manhattan street.  Jon looked at it with him for a few seconds before proclaiming,
     "fuck it. I'm hungry."
     With those words the two boys headed out of the hotel and onto the sidewalk, turning left they both walked quickly with the crowd, and kept turning corners until their third left where they found an "Andrews Coffee Shop" (only some of the best breakfast food in NYC) and headed in to wait for a table.
     The waitress, who appeared to be about their age, glanced at them with surprise but didn't say anything as she led them to a small table in the back.  Once they were seated and had ordered Jon proceeded to make Ryan choke on his coffee.
     "So whats up with you and Pete?"
     "WH..at?!" Ryan started to yell but caught himself just in time "are you talking about?"
     "dude, I might not have been around as long as Spencer and Brendon but I'm also not an idiot, and maybe that's why I've noticed. Spencer has been friends with you for too long, and as much as I love Brendon...he's a little self absorbed to put it bluntly. But anyway my point is...what's up with you and Pete?"
     "nothing. is 'up' with us. We're friends. Same as you and Pete." Ryan stated firmly.
     "yea, no. Pete and I are sure as hell not the same kind of friends you two are." Jon shot back before added "But, man, seriously. It doesn't bother me. And lately you've been looking sicker then usual so if you want to talk about it I can listen. I'm more removed from the situation then Spencer, and like we already said--Brendon, kind of self absorbed."
     Ryan sighed, and was about to answer when the waitress came over with their orders and coffee refills. As she placed their plates down she started blushing and stammering asked them if they needed anything else.  Taking a deep breath Ryan grabbed her pen and a napkin and quickly signed his name before passing it to Jon who chuckling did the same thing.     
     "umm...thanks. I wasn't gonna ask 'cause we're not allowed to but thank you so much!" The waitress exclaimed in one breath as she left them to eat. Both boys looked at each other for a second before cracking up, very glad that something had broken the tension of the past few minutes.
     Ryan took another deep breath, glanced down at his omlet and poked at it surprised at seeing the thing was stuffed full of veggies.
     "are you going to eat, answer my question, or just ponder the meaning of life in your eggs?" Jon asked after taking a bite of his own huge stack of pancakes.
     "answer." Ryan said quietly.     
     Jon glanced up in surprise as he had expected to be told to fuck off or something.  Remaining quiet he paitently waited for Ryan to gather his thoughts.
     "I think I'm in love with him." Ryan whispered quietly to Jon while shooting looks around the resturant in paranoia.
     "whoa..." Jon trailed off before finishing in disbelief, "I was expecting you to say you wanted to screw him and be done with it or something. Your talking like real feelings?"
     "yea.." Ryan said staring Jon in the face his eyes begging Jon not to mock shun him for this.
     "umm..well, I mean I'm ok with it and all. Thats your own personal business...but why Pete?" Jon asked incredulously over the guy in question.
     "What's wrong with Pete?" Ryan hissed back.
     "well..do you want a list? I mean, I'm friends with the guy but do you really want to get into that kind of day in and day out drama. The dude gets off on his issues, its like he wants to be unstable. Hell, I wouldn't put it past him to make them up purely to write an album. Personally I think you deserve better." Jon said matter of factly.
     Ryan just stared at Jon in shock. He couldn't believe he was getting this reaction. One one hand the lack of disgust was great, on the other hand he had just told Jon he was in love with someone only to have that person dismissed as being not good enough for him.
     "But...I mean...." Ryan trailed off realizing he had no defense for the situation, because Jon was completely right. Pete Wentz was a total drama queen, it just didn't do anything to change Ryan's feelings for him.
     "But you mean what?" Jon prodded Ryan cautiously after realizing exactly how quickly he had dismissed the younger boy's feelings.
     "Its just that I know all that. Your not lying, but it doesn't change how I feel. Not that it really matters anyway. Pete doesn't feel the same way, and even if...and thats a very big if...he did, I couldn't risk what it would do to the band. The fan reaction wouldn't be exactly what you could call positive." Ryan rambled out and puncuated his statement with a bite of omlet.
     "fuck the fans. I know that maybe that isn't the best way to think, but this is your personal life. Who cares what they think about who you date?" Jon said almost surprised at his developing anger of how quickly Ryan would put aside his own feelings for a group of teenagers he didn't even know personally.
     "Date? Don't be ridiculous Jon. Pete doesn't date. He screws random girls, shows up with them places. Lets the press eat it up and then denies it til he's blue in the face." Ryan said harshly before added in a softer tone, "Besides, do you really think Pete would be interested in someone like me?"
     "If he's not then he's a bigger fucking moron then I ever gave him credit for." Jon said with a tone that implied no one was good enough for the kid he had sort of adopted as a younger brother a few months ago before reaching over and smacking him lightly on the back of the head while adding "we really need to work on your self-esteem kid. But honestly, if this is something you want, then you need to go after it. If only so you stop moping around 'cause honestly your depressing the fuck out of everyone lately."
     "yea...well...your...umm, lame," Ryan retored with a magazine cover worthy pout as Jon covered his face and cracked up, "and don't laugh at me!"
     "You keep making that face dude and the chicks won't care who your sleeping with." Jon said as he popped a final potato in his mouth and signaled for the check.

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 7- ...but you can make me unreachable

 Brendon woke up the next day, feeling hung over even though he didn't drink. His head was pounding as he looked around the hotel room to find himself alone and in dire need of some aspirin. After searching high and low for some with no luck, he traveled down the hall and knocked on the on the room Fall Out Boy was sharing. No one answered the first door, so he knocked on the second door to the room and Patrick let him in.

     "Hey, do you have any Tylenol," Brendon asked him. Patrick shrugged and motioned for him to check the other room. Brendon walked over, pushed on the black door and stared around the darkness of the room. The shades were pulled shut and there were no lights on, which he found weird for the middle of the day. He walked forward, heading in the direction of the bathroom, but tripped on something half way there. He looked down to see a foot, attached to a leg that was attached to...Pete?

     "Holy shit," Brendon muttered to himself as he kneeled down next to Pete's body. He nudged his shoulder, but Pete lay still. Brendon shook him harder even though he had a feeling he wasn't waking up. "Shit!" he exclaimed. Brendon first walked over to the light switch to help him see what was going on. He walked back towards Pete to discover him sprawled out, clad only in his underwear, a bottle of pills a few feet away from him.

     "Fuck!" Brendon yelled. He rushed over to Pete quickly, trying this time to get him to sit up. He only then realized that Pete was lying in a small pool of vomit and Brendon gagged at the sight. He quickly rushed to the bathroom to grab a cloth to wipe Pete's face. He stared at Pete in total wonder as he cleaned the crusty puke off of his cheek. What would cause someone to do this? Brendon saw Pete's arm twitch suddenly and his hand come to his head as he groaned.

     "Pete? Are you okay?" Brendon asked him. Pete let his eyes open, squinting in the light. His head was on fire and he wasn't sure why Brendon was wiping his face or why he was sitting on the floor. Suddenly the only thing Pete thought of was Ryan.

     "Where's Ryan?" Pete asked Brendon. He looked at Pete funny.

     "Um...why?" he asked. Pete shook his head. He shouldn't have said that.

     "Shit, Brendon. I'm in trouble," Pete grumbled. Brendon shook his head as he stood up and sat down on the bed behind Pete.

     "Why are you in trouble?" He asked of him, sighing at the whole situation. Pete sighed too, not sure if he should be telling anyone this, let alone Brendon.

     "You can't tell anyone, promise?" Pete asked, slowly standing up only to fully collapse on the bed next to Brendon. He nodded down at Pete, extremely curious as to what was going on with him.

     "I think I'm in love with Ryan." Brendon didn't do it on purpose, but his mouth fell open. Come again?

     "Don't do that. I'm serious. Maybe I don't love him, love him, but I do feel something funny when I'm around him, something I haven't felt in a long, long time," Pete said. He was staring at the ceiling and was still feeling pretty fucked up, the ceiling looked like it was breathing. Brendon sat awestruck. Such news...

     "You should tell him. I mean it!" Brendon added when he saw the look on Pete's face. "I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching him. There's something to what you're telling me. He's been really distant and spacey lately too. You're probably a good explanation as to why," Brendon offered. Then he had a thought, "Is this what the overdose is all about?" he asked looking at Pete. Pete shrugged in response.

     "Don't do that Pete!" Brendon exclaimed jumping to his feet, "you were passed out in your own vomit! Ryan isn't worth killing yourself over," he added. Pete scoffed at his statement.

     "Ryan is a perfect reason to kill myself. Just like everything else in my fucked up life, it's just extra shit I don't need on my brain, Brendon! I don't need this shit! I can't be gay, you surely can understand that!" Brendon nodded at Pete's comment but still didn't understand why he was trying a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

     "Well, how about instead of attempting sucided again, you talk to him. Like I said, I know Ryan well enough to know there is something much more to what you are telling me. What can it hurt?" Brendon said, standing up off the bed and watching Pete's eyes roll back in his head. Pete was merely thinking it over; he just didn't want to deal with it then and there. His head was killing him.

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 6- Stuttered shook and uptight

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 5- A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio, and I won't tell no one your name...

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 4 - It's hard to know what's real when it all seems so wrong

    "Hey space case. Wake UP!" Ryan jumped and snapped his head around to meet the eyes of his friend and band mate Spencer Smith who was staring at him with a look that clearly said 'what the fuck?'
     "yea Spence?" Ryan responded, while trying to act like Spencer hadn't been calling his name for at least the last three minutes.
     "I said, what do you want to drink?"
     "oh..uhh...water'll be fine."
     "ok...you can go back to pluto or whatever planet you were on now." Spencer smirked as he walked off towards the bar with everyone's drink orders.
     "Pluto isn't a planet anymore!" Brendon yelled towards his retreating back which caused everyone at the table to crack up in either drunken or just excited laughter, in some cases it was a mix of both.
     Ryan's eyes wandered steathily around the party that was in full swing. Everyone here had something to celebrate tonight--whether they won something themselves or they were connected to someone who won something it was a good night for them. It was a good night in general, the VMA's always provided an excuse for the music industry to take over the city it was being held in for one night, and tonight it was back in Manhattan. Tonight Manhattan belonged to rock stars and rabble rousers. Or at least that's the word some old lady had yelled at them as they made their way into the club. Although, what a lady who had to have been at least 70 was walking her dog around midtown at nearly midnight was beyond him.
     Ryan abruptly stopped his perusal of the club as a large bottle of water landed in his lap...hard.
     "asshole!" he gasped out and glared at his supposed best friend.
     "what?" Spencer said snickering.
     "ugh, nothing. I'll be back." Ryan spat out and got up stalking off towards the stairs that led to the VIP Congac Room where he had seen people disappear over the course of the evening. He needed to reflect on the everything that had happend and apparently he wasn't allowed to do that in peace and quiet. If he was being competely honest with himself he would realize what a stupid statement that was to make in the 40/40 club. There was no peace and quiet in this club, only incredibly loud, fairly badly mixed beats. Sliding the door open and pushing the purple silk curtains aside he looked in and was relieved to see no one there except for a bartender.  
     "thank god. finally." Ryan muttered to himself as he nodded at the barkeep while simultaneously fishing out a pack of cigarettes that he was eventually planning on quitting sometime in the near future and reflected on how hypocritical it was of him to be smoking...but whatever. Who really gives a fuck. "Brendon's the singer. I just have to write something for the fans to think they relate to." Lighting up and inhaling deeply he flopped down onto one of the huge purple couches they had stuffed into this tiny room set in the back upstairs corner of the club. He also realized that this was the first smoke he had had in nearly 24 hours.
     "How the HELL did I get here?!" he finally screamed outloud not really caring who heard. And a quick glance at the bartender confirmed that he was paid too well to even blink at something like that. Today had been so completely frustrating that he hadn't even had time for a fucking cigarette. He got beaten out of bed at 10 this morning by Brendon, after having already been half-awake for nearly five hours already at that point, got showered, threw some crap clothes on and went to eat with Brendon and Liz, Brendon's friend. After breakfast they headed back upstairs to screw around and basically do nothing until three o'clock.
     'at least I got some craptastic writing done. I must seem like a tool to some of the fans, who the hell doesn't write anything after this much time has passed. oh yea, me.' Ryan thought self consciously to himself while taking a long drag on his ciggarette. 'then there was this whole VMA experience overall. MTV really needs to get their shit together. I don't think I want to see the playback of our performance. I could barely hear myself and all I had to do was sing some harmonies, I don't know how Brendon managed to get through that song and stay on key, at least I hope it was on key. Who doesn't put up monitors at the front of the stage?!'
     Ryan stabbed out his finished cigarette violently and glared at it as though the filter was the producer who apparently thought that the 'kids' didn't deserve the same ammount of tech bands like The Killers or Christina Aquilera got.
     'we must have sounded like total ametuers. and what the HELL was that with the Sixx...or whatever his name was. That HAD to have been set up. Its like whoever knew we were going to win figured that since we were the underdogs they could fuck with us. Its NOT fair. When are people going to take us seriously?'
     "and when am I going to stop whining like a freaking child?" Ryan said outloud disgustedly to himself. "blah." he added while running his hands over his face and flopping back into the couch cushions. Apparently tonight the ceiling held the answers to all the worlds questions as far as Ryan Ross was concered because as of this moment he had no intention of moving a muscle. Because so far today the one really good thing to happen was that other then the very short encounter this morning, he hadn't seen Pete.
     'and if I go out there I'm going to run smack into him with the way my luck has been running lately.'
     "and I don't want that." Ryan answered himself outloud angrily.
     'right Ross. keep telling yourself that.' was shot right back into his head by a voice that sounded aggravatingly like Brendon. 'wonderful. I love the kid, but I really do not want him as my subconscious. He has enough of his own shit to sort out. What with his "friend" and all.' Ryan thought and snickered to himself thrilled to have taken his mind off of his little..debate for even a few seconds. 'but your going to have to think about it soon RyRo. At least acknowledge it.'
     "oh screw this." Ryan said standing up and leaving the room after realizing that being by himself would just cause him to think even harder on what he didn't really want to be thinking of at all. Not to mention convince a certain bartender that Panic! at the Disco's guitar player was few fries short if you know what I mean.
     'they were probably about to send a search party after me anyway.' Ryan thought ironically to himself. He was supposed to be the quiet, shy, and artistic one. Yet whenever he tried to go off by himself he was told he was exhibiting strange behavior. His friends really needed to get their roles in the band straight.
     He continued down the hallway without really looking where he was going, weaving in and out of random people; some famous, some most definitely just lucky enough to get in here tonight.  As he turned the small corner to head to the balcony and subsequent stairs the next thing he knew he was in pain and staring at the ceiling again.  Moving his eyes he was shocked to be staring at the back of the exact person he had been desperately trying to avoid for the past few hours. Making out with Ashlee Simpson.
     'well fuck me. I called that one didn't I?' Ryan thought as he let his head smack back down onto the club floor and closed his eyes in exasperation. 'the best part is...he hasn't even noticed me.'

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 3- Confusion that never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks

 "Pete! Dude, we've got to start getting ready," Patrick said standing over him. Pete's eyes flew open and he noticed that he was the only one not up and moving.

            "Yeah, dude. Get out of my room," Jon told him with a smile on his face. Pete groggily stood up. He was having a weird dream about a certain boy and decided he was just going to keep it to himself. He put his shirt and pants on and slowly trudged back to the room he was sharing with his band mates. He walked in to see Joe sitting on a reclining chair, his head in his hands. Andy came out of the bathroom with some Tylenol and handed it to a grateful Joe. Pete smirked, fucking drunk, he thought with a smile. He glanced at the clock and saw it was after three and cursed himself for sleeping so long. This gave him about 2 hours to get ready, something he usually didn't do.

            He looked at Patrick and Andy who were laughing at each other hysterically over their outfits, which they had all decided on together. Patrick had on a slightly mismatched fucking four piece suit, while Andy resembled an image you would get if you thought of Mark Twain complete with bow tie and...leather pants? Joe seemed to be fumbling with the pain in his head as well as his own little bow tie. Pete ungraciously threw on his characteristically tight pants, purple button down and suit coat, thinking he looked pretty average until he put on his half cloak and giggled a little at himself. He looked dumb and he loved it. He stepped out of the bathroom and everyone just cracked a smile at each other. This was absolutely ridiculous...

            After winning their Viewer's Choice and being beat up by the guys from Jackass, Pete was really looking forward to the after parties.

     They arrived at the party at the 40/40 Club and Pete was sitting across the room in the VIP booths, examining all the celebrating. He spotted the kids on the other side of the club and felt himself almost combusting with pride. He couldn't believe how far they had come so fast and he felt like a pleased older brother, or something.

     Red Bulls could only take him so far before he felt like puking, so now he was bored. He stood up, wanting desperately to congratulate the kids again; they needed to know how much he believed in them all along. He walked down the stairs, looking for a way to the other side of the club when he heard someone call his name:

     "Pete! Motherfucker! Get over here!" He turned around to see a blonde girl shoving her way through the crowd to him.

"Hey Ashlee," he sighed. She smothered him in a huge hug and she seemed slightly, well very drunk. "Whoa, you okay babe?" Pete questioned her as she stumbled back from him. She nodded and laughed. Behind her, Pete saw Ryan storming off toward the back bar and his stomach flipped.

"Shit!" Pete mumbled to himself. He then was distracted by Ashlee calling his name and he thought of the perfect way to take his mind off of Ryan. He took Ashlee's hand and started to drag her along with him, pushing his way down a hall throw throngs of famous people yelling meaningless congratulations at him and a few whispers about where and why he had Ashlee Simpson in tow. He knew he was going to pay for this in the tabloids tomorrow, but at this point he was just trying to get back to the familiar feeling of a girl on top of him. He walked up to the balcony on the stairs and sat down in an empty booth, pulling Ashlee's body down on top of him. She immediately attached her mouth to his and despite the overwhelming smell of vodka on her breath, he continued to make out with her, desperately ignoring his surroundings. People must have been looking at them in shock, if not disgust or confusion.  Pete opened his eyes to look at Ashlee squeezing hers tightly shut and he decided to look around to see him anyone really was looking at them and no one up there was, but from downstairs you never know. Suddenly, there he was again. He was haunting his mind and everywhere he looked, there he was. It was enough that he had to shove all the feelings he had inside away during the show and the numerous times they ran into each other backstage.

Ryan then ran smack into someone, tripped and fell flat on his back. Pete's initial reaction was to jump up and see if he was okay, but Ryan's eyes slowly rolled over in his direction and Pete shut his eyes, trying to will Ryan to stop looking at him.

"Love is Only Love"

Chapter 2- Insanity Laughs under Pressure

...meanwhile...

     "I think I'm going crazy...thats the only explanation. I'm going completely nuts."  he said while staring out the window that sat twenty floors above the rainy city.
     "umm..Ry, who are you talking to?" Brendon Urie asked after sticking his head into the adjoining hotel and glancing around at dark room that was completely empty except for the figure of Ryan Ross sitting in the middle of his bed.
     "hmm...oh...myself?"
     "well I guess its ok. Just don't answer yourself back," he started to head back into the other room, the fully lighted room that was currently filled with the rest of their band and friends before turning and asking, "Ryan, are you ok?"
     "...yea Brendon, I'm fine. I'm just tired ok? can you actually do me a favor and close the door behind you." Ryan asked his friend softly.
     "sure man. Just if you need to talk, I'm here. night." Brendon said as he shut the door and headed back into the light.
     "yea...I'm going crazy." Ryan once again sighed to himself before getting up and fishing out his notebook out of his suitcase.  This resulted in him tripping over Brendon's shoes that for some reason seemed to find the middle of the floor a good place to be. Both on the way there, and the way back to the bed.
     Ryan clicked on the bedside light and glanced outside one more time before starting to write...
     
     Crazy is subjective I suppose. If I THINK I'm crazy, doesn't that make me sane? ugh, I fucking hate this shit. I'm not nuts. I'm just...tired and overworked and stressed. and quite frankly sick and tired of screaming girls throwing themselves at my feet. God does that sound completely and utterly pompous. I don't deserve it, which sounds like false modesty but I don't really believe I deserve having girls want to fuck me. 'cause that's all they way. They want to fuck a rock star. They want to say they bedded George Ryan Ross. Which, shouldn't be a problem. Therein of course lies the problem. What red-blooded 20 year old man doesn't want to bang whatever tail he can get? Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint...and why the hell am I writing this as though someone is reading it. Fucking stream of consciousness. Maybe I should publish? fuck the music thing. Nevermind where was I? Yea, not a saint. I'll take what I can get. Esspecially if I'm fucking some blonde, brunette, red-head, purple, pink, whatever the hell shade of Manic Panic they've got in today I can forget about what I've been thinking so hard on...god that was a bad choice of words. God I was fine until a few weeks ago, I didn't think like this. The thought didn't even cross my mind. Friends, we're JUST friends. Who cares what it looks like, who the hell cares how we act. Ok, so admittedly I was a bit of a fan before everything blew up (so to speak), but its normal to be appreciative of someone you admire. right? Right. I'm just appreciative of talent...not the way his jeans

     "fuck..." Ryan hissed to himself while ripping the sheet out of his notebook.  Staring at it and re-reading it for what seemed like eternity but was more like thirty seconds he jumped up and grabbed his lighter.  Walking across the room and into the bathroom he quickly turned on the sink faucet. Staring once more at the paper he ignited it and held it til it burned up the half of the page he had written on before tossing it into the running water.
     Turning his face up from the running water he jumped at the sight of his reflection, pale and withdrawn that it was, and was shocked to find that at some point he had started cry. Not the big sobbing tears you'd find in over dramatic movies, these were just a few frustrated tears that slipped out. Swiping furiously at his face Ryan stared himself down in the mirror and quietly proclaimed with just the mirror and his makeup as witness'
     "You do not have feelings for Pete. Your just friends. Your just going crazy. You are not gay."
     Ryan quickly turned out the light, walked into the bedroom, layed down on his bed and passed out. Hoping upon hope for a dreamless sleep, instead of one plauged by the presence of a certain bassist.
     Around 5 the next morning Ryan woke up from some subconscious alarm and glanced over to the other bed fairly unsurprised to see no one there. Getting out of bed and padding across the room he opened the door in between the two rooms and choked back his laughter at seeing everyone passed out with an infomercial telling him to buy hair in a can on the television.  Carefully and quietly he picked his way across the floor, stepping over Brendon, an empty case of beer, Patrick, a few cans of soda, a bowl of chips, and various other people and products before finally reaching the television and turning it off.
     "geez...party much?" he said almost silently as he observed that no one had even twitched at his intrusion on their states of unconsciousness. Ryan glanced around once more trying to see through the dim room at who actually was there. Spencer and Jon had managed to kick everyone except their girlfriends and one other person out of their beds. Well Jon had suceeded in just having himself and Amy in his bed. The third lump in Spencer's bed was just more proof to Ryan's theory that his oldest friend could be persuasive but he had far from perfected the his abilities, despite what he himself may think.  It seemed that Pete was just that much better at getting his way then Spencer, that and he signs their paychecks.
     Ryan smiled slightly as he watched his friend and current object of confusion sleep. Half of his body hanging out of the bed.
     'The shirtless half' Ryan was shocked to feel himself focus on that one fact out of all the others he could be thinking of. 'sure, my first thought can't be that he's gonna wake up with a neck pain'
     Ryan closed his eyes, put his head down and sighed before opening them again and looking up only to jump in shock as his eyes met another pair of brown ones. Flushing and pushing down the lustful feelings those eyes stirred up in his belly he began to quickly ramble to the silent figure that was just observing him sleepily.
     "umm...morning. go back to sleep. It's early. I was just turning the tv off." before doing what basically resembled something between an olympic sprint and high jump over his friends and into his own room.
     Closing the door and leaning against it Ryan slid down to the floor and dropped his head into his hands.  Taking a few deep breaths to calm his frazzled nerves he thought to himself
     '...right. crazy. competely fucking nuts. I need to find a chick. I just need to get laid. its been too long.'
     With those comforting thoughts in his head he stood up and walked across the room and climbed back into bed.  Then spent the rest of the early morning, until Brendon stumbled in around 10 and he pretended to get up for the day, staring at the hotel room ceiling being haunted by a pair of warm brown eyes, familiar laughter, and the thumping of his heart that not so strangely resembled a bass line.  
     'just need to find myself a girl' he repeated over and over in his head trying to drown out everything.

Okay, this one, you guys with a sence of humor about the whole Pete/Ryan thing are going to LOVE! Yeah, it explores the emotion turmoil the sexual confusion brings. This is co-written with my friend bridget and I want you guys to enjoy it!

"Love is Only Love"

Disclaimer:

Pete/Ryan. Yes, thats right. Pete/Ryan slash.  Have you seen the pictures?! You are about to embark on a psychological exploration into the inner psyche of two people that none of us actually know anything real about...thus--fiction. That there was your warning. I'll re-write it just to be sure you read it the first time---

FICTION!

We do not own any of the people in this story. Even the fake ones probably have realistic counterparts with names that we do not know, or care to know to be perfectly honest. Like we said Fiction. This is a little sojurn into our own little warped universe. Do we really believe that Pete and Ryan are gay--probably not. Do we believe that they are really head over heels in love with each other--oh most definitly. They are all fangirl squeeling about each other. In a totally platonic and friendly way of course.

However, in THIS story they are exploring their very confused and distressing feelings for each other. Thats right, this isn't all "omg I love you *smooch smooch smooch* slash". Lemme tell you girls and...well probably just girls denial is not just a river in egypt.

Most chapters will happen concurently to each other. One POV will be Pete's and the next chapters POV with be Ryan's. Simple really.

PS- if you don't like it. Don't read it. simple as that.

Chapter one- I don't know how we're just two men as god had made us...

"You know how it is the first time you meet someone and you instantly know they are for you; you know that you have to be with that person because your heart suddenly feels a void when he leaves? Well, that is my problem and I don't know what to do about it. But I know I'm not gay...I can't be.

     The first time I met him I knew he was something special. Correction, I knew his band was something special. It wasn't until we started to spend time together that I found out just how cool he really was. As it turns out, he was also a huge fan of me, which is of course instantly attractive. I've got a bit of an ego and he really feeds it well, but that was only my initial feelings for him. It's sort of blossomed into something I never thought it could possibly be. But it's strictly a platonic thing, you know? I think."

       Pete shook his head. Wrong! It was just wrong. He began to feel like maybe he was just taking advantage of the kid's feelings for him; it wouldn't have been the first time. Determined to distract himself from his thoughts, he walked down the hall to the adjoining "Panic!" rooms and knocked on the first door. No answer, so he knocked again and still nothing, but the door to the neighboring room flew open.

            "Pete!" he looked over and saw Jon clad just in his underwear and an undershirt. "Now that you're here the party can really get started! Get over here!" Pete grinned as Jon stepped aside to let him in the room. He walked in from of him, vaguely registering the visual image. He stepped into the room and was greeted by a Red Bull attached to the hand of his good friend Patrick. He thanked him and plopped down on the bed nearest to him, barely disturbing the make out between Spencer and his girlfriend.

            Through out the year of being straight edge, Pete began to realize that he didn't need alcohol to act like an asshole and when Jon was drunk enough to begin stripping, Pete felt okay to do the same, no one really expected less from him anyway. Pete was always surprised at how quickly parties like these got started and then died.

            "I call the bed!" Spencer suddenly announced, bounding over a passed out Joe, dragging his girlfriend behind him.

            "I'm sleeping here, too," Pete said, he was NOT going to be on the floor.

            "Dude!" Spencer cried. Pete shook his head and Spencer knew there was no point in arguing. Pete crawled under the blankets at the end of the bed and passed out quickly. A few hours later, Pete was awoken by the sound of the adjoining door creaking open. He opened his eyes half way to see Ryan carefully walking over the bodies and crap strewn all over the floor. He felt his heart begin to race, so he closed his eyes to try and pretend he was still sleeping. After a few minutes, he felt Ryan's eyes on him and decided now would be a good time to stand, his neck was hurting anyway. He quietly got out from under the covers and stood in front of Ryan, whose eyes were closed in a way people do when they are trying to forget something. I smiled at him as his eyes grew wide.

            "Umm...morning. Go back to sleep, It's early. I was just turning the TV off," and then proceeded to high tail it back to the other room. When the door shut, Pete sighed and he reluctantly tried not to think about how cute way Ryan's hair was all messy.

            "Shit," he muttered to himself and crawled back into bed, the image of Ryan stained into his eyelids...

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 14- Now my love you stand beside me, to walk life's winding road...

Title: "The Right Man" - Christina Aguleria

It has been almost four years since the birth of Brody and the Panic! at the Disco hype died down. The boys still had a core group of fans and still toured occasionally and put out records. They all got involved in relationships and other jobs in the business, but Panic! was still where everyone's heart was. Brendon had since made two appearances on Broadway, Spencer and Holly had gotten engaged and he was a popular producer. Jon and his girlfriend bought their own house in Chicago and he did another band and while still working with Panic!. Ryan and Tinsley were a whole other story.

     It was looming on Brody's fourth birthday as well as Tinsley's 23rd and Ryan was nervous about his gift for her. It was taking him so much courage to do it, but he knew it was what they both wanted.

     Brody was a handful because he knew it was his birthday, but also just in general. Uncle Spencer was sitting on the living room floor of Ryan and Tinsley's suburban house with him, listening to him ramble on and on about nothing in his broken English while he sloppily colored in his coloring book. He got that art thing from his dad, because Tinsley was never a fan of coloring books. Tinsley came around the corner and saw Spencer and smiled at him sympathetically, she knew how Brody could talk your ear off.

     "Baby, why don't you give Uncle Spencer and break and go wash your hands for lunch, okay?" Tinsley said to Brody. Brody whined but shut his coloring book.

     "Okay, mommy," He replied grumpily as he walked to the bathroom. Spencer grabbed the coloring book and stood up, handing it to Tinsley.

     "Aw, but what he was talking about was so interesting," Spencer said to her sarcastically. She laughed.

     "I'm sure, Spencer. Like you even really knew what he was saying anyway." She watched Spencer walk away to the dining room to join Holly, and then turned around to see Ryan walking toward her, carrying Brody.

     "Ryan, you know he's getting way too big to be carried around," she said to him with a smile. He smiled back as Brody tightened his grip around his neck. Tinsley walked over to Ryan and kissed him as Brody looked on with an "ew!"

     "I'm here now, the party can start!" a voice said coming through the front door.
     
     "Uncle Brendon!" Brody yelled, climbing out of his dad's arms and running to Brendon's.
     "Hey big guy! I got you the coolest gift, you're going to love it!" he said, knelling down to Brody's level. Tinsley smiled as his eyes widened.

     "What's it?! What's it?!" Brody asked, practically yelling at Brendon.

     "I can't tell you that, but I can," he said, reaching into a bag and pulling out a baseball and handing it to him, "give you this."

     "Cool!" Brody said, taking the ball from Brendon. Smiling Brendon added, "And I bet if you ask your dad nice enough he through it around with you. He stood up and walked to Tinsley, giving her a hug.

     "Dude, you know I was terrible in little league," Ryan said watching Brody run to show Spencer and Holly what Brendon gave him. Brendon laughed, walking to the dining room to say hi.

     "Do you think they will all be distracted enough with Brody and his new ball to not notice we are missing?" Ryan asked Tinsley when they were alone. She smiled at him.

     "Maybe, what do you have in mind?" she wondered. He took her hand and led her upstairs. He took a deep breath as they reached their bedroom. It was now or never. He walked to the dresser and Tinsley saw him pull out two things and was beginning to get curious. He slowly walked up to her with his hands behind his back.

     "I never would have thought a few years ago that I would be who I am today. Half of who I am I owe to you. I've lost a lot and gained a lot and the most special things in the world to me are you and my son. It's weird now to think that this relationship started with a one night stand, but I'm so happy that you've been here with me to share everything. You were by my side no matter what, when the band blew up, you were there. When my dad died, you were there. You gave me Brody and I could never thank you enough for that. It hasn't been easy, not in the least. There were times when I thought I was going to lose you forever. But I didn't and here you are. I love you with every thing I have and someday that may be all I have to give to you. Just me, and I know that you will accept that without question. So..." he sighed. Tinsley was teary eyed just from his speech and was beginning to figure out where this was going. Ryan slowly got down on one knee and produced a pink square cut diamond that looked like it cost a fortune. He looked Tinsley in the eyes. She smiled at him, just waiting for him to ask.

     "Marry me? Please. I want to be a real family. I want to be able to give Brody everything I never was never able to have and that was a stable and supportive household. I also want to spend the rest of my life by your side, through everything. Please? Marry me?" Tinsley thought she was going to scream. She was so happy at that moment that all she wanted to do was through Ryan on the bed and rip his clothes off. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded.

     "Yes! Of course. Shit, Ryan," she said grabbing him and kissing him through her tears. He returned her kiss with vengeance and wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could. After a few minutes they pulled apart and Ryan placed the ring on her left hand and smiled. He thought he had felt lucky a lot in his life already, but never had he felt like this.

     Ryan and Tinsley had both refused a big wedding and Ryan, being an atheist, refused to get married in a church. They decided to invite close friends and family to spend the weekend in Puerto Rico, where they were going to get married on the beach. Tinsley was a little upset about not getting her fairytale in the sense of a chapel and a gorgeous white gown, but she couldn't complain because she was marrying the man of her dreams. Her baby boy looked so handsome in his little white tuxedo and his dad looked just as amazing. Tinsley stood at the end of the small isle and grinned wide. She was wearing a white bohemian wrap dress with her hair in loose curls and Ryan stood amazed at how beautiful she looked. As she walked toward him down the isle, he began thinking about the day they met and the night the spent together that resulted in this relationship and his proudest gift. He was amazed he remembered the first thing she ever said to him. "Good show tonight." He smiled at the thought, she must have been deaf because that was Panic's first live show ever and it sucked big time.

     Tinsley also thought back to the first time she and Ryan were together, but she thought about how he told her "we're here for each other right now" the first time they slept together. She was amazed that it was true then and it was true now. He looked amazing to her, he always did. She heard people murmuring about how great she looked but she didn't care about any of that. All she wanted at the moment was to be Mrs. George Ryan Ross and nothing else. She wanted her last name to match her son's and she wanted to feel whole.

     Ryan shakily lifted his hand, his shyness managing to make him nervous as he spoke his vows. He placed the ring on Tinsley finger saying, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you. I marry you with all that I have and all that I am."

     Tears flowing steadily from her eyes, Tinsley lifted her hand and placed the ring on Ryan's long finger saying, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you. I marry you with all that I have and all that I am."

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 13- I was the one who saw you first, a grain in the sands of the universe, I never knew what was ahead of me...

Title: "Shades of Love" - Empty Trash



Panic! became unbelievably popular in a very short amount of time and the attention fell mainly on the music, but there were many fans that engrossed themselves with who the boys were too, and Tinsley and Brody were a big discussion everywhere.  It was becoming extremely commonplace to see pictures and videos all over message boards, youtube and buzznet of Brody, Tinsley and Ryan. Pictures and videos of Ryan holding Brody, carrying a diaper bag with his guitar and even a few of Brody's many uncles holding him, playing with him, and taking him places and it was all grating on Tinsley's nerves. She had expected bouts of privacy invasion but it was happening too often for her liking. Occasionally she would see what people were talking about and it was mostly Ryan's fans bitching and moaning about her and saying things about how she "trapped" Ryan, that she was a big slut sleeping with Brendon on the side, how big of a snobby bitch she was and how she was this and that. Tinsley was beginning to feel like she couldn't even walk off the bus or go with Brody to watch his daddy perform. Still, with all of the fans complaining, it seemed like a small obsession with some people to acquire pictures and video of the tiny family. People would gush over how cute Brody was and then turn around and be horrible to Tinsley. She felt like she was an outsider sometimes in her own family. The people close to the band, as well as the band themselves, never made her feel shitty about the situation anymore and she was part of the team and it felt good to be around those people. But the second she would step out of that comfort zone, it felt like she was stepping into a foreign world.

Brody turned out to be a very good baby, like he was born adapted to this lifestyle. He only complained when he needed something. Tinsley found it was impossible to get him to sleep and settle down when the boys were playing. Ryan would sometimes sit on the floor on the bus with Brody and just play his acoustic guitar softly while Brody would crawl around him absolutely transfixed on it, occasionally reaching out to touch the guitar.

     The boys were doing their usual pre-show preparations, while Tinsley held a napping Brody. He was only four months old, but had gotten so big, she was convinced he was going to be tall like his dad.

     Today, specifically, Ryan was feeling worn out, and was lazily applying his intricate stage make-up, Spencer was slowly getting dressed with Holly's help, while Jon (their new bassist) sat drinking his "warm-up" whiskey. Brody was surprisingly fast asleep, even through Brendon's ritual which involved him belting his scales over his ipod.  Tinsley sat near Ryan, observing everyone's behavior. She was actually feeling pretty mad today. She was usually very friendly towards the fans, even though they made her crazy, but today some particularly pushy teenies got too personal with her and she basically told them to fuck off, but was still steaming about the level of privacy total strangers seemed to know.

     Ryan sat his eyeliner down and turned to look at Tinsley. He was feeling unsure with her lately because she was constantly fighting with him about something. She was currently holding his son, staring off in Jon's direction, looking annoyed about something, probably a fan, he suspected because they were one of the things that was always being brought up during their fights. He couldn't believe that they had known each other for over a year already. What was even crazier was how much his life had changed in that year. He was in one of the most successful bands of the year, he had become a father and they were had just started their first stadium tour. He was playing Madison Square Garden in two weeks for Christ sakes. The rest of the guys were finally ready and started to gather by the door. Glancing again at Tinsley, who still hadn't snapped out of it, Ryan grabbed Brody's ear plugs and gently placed them in his tiny ears, not wanting to wake him. The motion made Tinsley move and she just stared at Ryan for a minute. She was always thrown off by the stuff all over his face; she just wasn't used to seeing him in his character of rock star. It was almost like a connection was never made in Tinsley's mind between who Ryan was to her and who Ryan was to the rest of the world. It was like dating two different men.

     "You okay?" he asked her softly, really not looking for a fight at the moment. Tinsley merely shrugged at him and Ryan sighed. He kissed her quick then followed his band mates toward the stage. Tinsley rolled her eyes at his random attempts at romance. She was finding it hard to believe that she had been on the road with the band for a year already. From Ryan pushing the ear plugs in Brody's ear, he woke up and began to holler. She laid the screaming baby out on the blanket and picked up the diaper bag to grab a bottle. She was pissed to find that Ryan had forgotten to grab one out of the fridge on the bus and that now she had to walk outside with screaming Brody and draw all kinds of attention to herself.

     When she returned inside the venue, the guys were already on the last song of their first set and Tinsley felt annoyed. She had been feeling that way a lot lately. It was their first show on the stadium tour and she had missed half of it. She was not happy. Brody was however, he was always mesmerized by the lights and the sounds he could hear, however muffled they were.

Tinsley looked down at him and smiled. She beamed with pride seeing her two men sync up like this and forgot about all her troubles. It was interesting to her, how the slightest things that Brody does can make her have no cares. The only thing that truly mattered at the end of the day was this: her son and Ryan. She loved them both, with all of her heart and soul and she knew that their life, no matter its ups and downs, the good and the bad, they would always be in it together. The glamour she once knew was now miles away and mere memories and she realized that this was how her life was meant to be lived.

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 12- No moment will be more true, then the moment I look at you...

Title: "Someday I Will Understand" - Britney Spears

With the baby due any day now, Ryan sat at the breakfast bar with his laptop, making sure Tinsley never left his eye sight. She was lying on the couch, groaning. Her more painful contractions started a few days ago and would come and go with many hours in between them. Only today were her contractions happening more frequently. Ryan looked at her carefully; she was really keeping him on his toes with all this.

     "I'm hungry!" Tinsley whined from her spot on the couch. Ryan stood up and asked her what she wanted.

     "I don't know. I'd have to look. Help me up," she said. Ryan walked over and grabbed her hands and helped her slowly stand up. He couldn't believe how big so got so fast. Tinsley stretched when she got to her feet, and then slowly made her way to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and saw nothing that sparked her interest. So she made her way to the snack cabinets and reached up. As she stretched her arms out, she felt like she had suddenly just peed all over herself. She looked down at her sweatpants and saw they were soaked. She felt embarrassed but then a surge of pain went through her stomach and she grasped her belly, feeling a hard contraction. Trying to concentrate on her breathing, she yelled,

     "Ryan! I think my water just broke!" Within seconds Ryan was by her side. He held her hand and rubbed her back. He yelled upstairs where the guys were, playing those fucking video games, and Spencer came down only to wish someone else would have.

     "Can you grab that bag off Tinsley's bed?" he said, then glanced at her soaked sweatpants. "And maybe another pair of pants?" Tinsley nodded, wincing between the surges of pain.
     
     Spencer quickly grabbed the bag off the bed and Holly off the floor. He told the guys that today was the day and said he'd meet them at the hospital later. Ryan had already taken Tinsley to the car and was feeling extremely anxious. The minute the door shut behind Spencer, Ryan pressed the gas and was headed to the hospital. Tinsley couldn't believe. She had never felt so unprepared in her life. She was scared out of her mind and she looked over at Ryan to try and find some comfort, but only saw fear on his face as well. Tinsley moaned and tried to breathe through the pain she was feeling. Holly reached forward to Tinsley and rubbed her arm, trying her best to be some sort of comfort during what was probably the most painful time of Tinsley's life. They arrived at the hospital twenty painful minutes later for Tinsley. Ryan and Spencer jumped out the car and ran inside to find someone to help her into the building.

     Tinsley screamed out, the pain was just too much. She was squeezing Ryan's hand so tightly that his fingers were beginning to turn blue.  

     "Breathe and keep pushing, Tinsley! You're doing great," the doctor said trying her best to encourage Tinsley. Tinsley shook her head, she just couldn't continue. She felt so tired and worn. It was not unlike the dreams she had been having, the ones where it felt like her son was being ripped from her body. Ryan peaked over the cover that was covering Tinsley's legs and saw nothing. He sighed, the urge to hold his son was overwhelming, he just wanted to see him and touch him. Ryan reached over brushed Tinsley damp hair away from her face. She looked so tired. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

     "You can do this," he whispered to her. She shook her head.

     "I can't! It hurts too much," she replied. The doctor ordered her to push again but Tinsley felt like giving up. Ryan giving her hand a hopeful squeeze.

     "Yes, you can. It'll be worth it, I promise," he added. Tinsley looked over at Ryan and he smiled at her cheerfully. Tinsley looked back down at the doctor who told her she needed to push now, or they were going to have to perform a C-section. Determined to make Ryan happy and to finally put this pain behind her, Tinsley gritted her teeth and pushed with all her might.

     "Good! I see the head! A few more like that and you'll be all done!" the doctor replied. Tinsley nodded and pushed just as hard. For the next 15 minutes she continued, feeling like she was on the verge of passing out until she heard it the tiny crying sounds of a newborn baby.

     Brendon and Brent waited outside impatiently with Spencer and Holly, all of whom were unable to hear anything that was going on in the room. Holly rested her head on Spencer when a jingle played over the intercom in the hospital. The jingle signaled the birth of a new baby.

     Tinsley sat up a little and gazed down at her son. He had stopped crying and was just lying in her arms. He turned out to be seven pounds, twelve ounces and twenty one inches long. Reluctantly, she held the baby up for Ryan. Carefully, Ryan placed his arms underneath his son and felt like a huge void in his heart was suddenly filled. His ran his finger down his son's arm, stopping at the five tiny fingers, which wrapped themselves around one of his. They named him Brody George Ross.

     "I love you, Brody," Ryan said softly, kissing his son on his small forehead. Brody tightened his grip on Ryan's fingers.  "And I love you too, Tinsley. Thank you." Tinsley smiled.

"I love you too. Both of you," she felt so amazing just at that moment. The two men she loved most in this world were right in front of her. The look on Ryan's face was enough to make her want this moment to last the rest of their lives. And although she knew that the road ahead of them was going to belong and was guaranteed to be hard, she couldn't have wished for a better family.

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 11- They've got love to give, but they're afraid to let it in...

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 9: Another day alone is more then I can take...(part two)

Title: "Save Me" - Hanson

********************************************************************

Moments later Tinsley was on top of Ryan in the back room, hastily unbuckling his belt and trying in vain to pull his pants off. He arched his back and slid his jeans over his bony hips; hips which Tinsley found oddly arousing. Tinsley uncomfortably pulled off her sweatshirt and tank top, realizing that while pregnant, sex might actually be work. She leaned down and began kissing Ryan's neck, giving him a small hickie, while he groaned.

     "You're so beautiful. It's sad that I'd almost forgotten," he whispered in her ear. His breath sent shivers up her spine and she was suddenly overcome with a burning desire to get married. Enough to presumably kill the mood, she shook that thought from her mind and gently leaned in and kissed Ryan's lips.

     "Just tell me if I'm hurting you or you're uncomfortable, okay?" Ryan asked Tinsley quietly. She nodded and waited with baited breath as Ryan reached back and unhooked her bra, leaning in to suck her nipples gently. Tinsley groaned loudly at the sensation and wondered how she went so long without any sexual contact. While straddling Ryan and trying her best to work around her bump, she reached in Ryan's boxers to slowly jerk him off. Ryan began moaning into her chest and let his hands roam underneath her sweatpants and panties, fingering her gently. Ryan wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt like he could say I love you to Tinsley and not be lying. However, he decided to chalk it up to the moment and began kissing up Tinsley's neck, hearing hear moaning from his fingers and the sensation on his kisses on her neck.

     "Enough," Tinsley said sharply, pushing Ryan's hands away from her. She laid on her back and pulled off her panties. "Just fuck me," she told Ryan. He looked down at her and was overcome with confusion. He blushed.

     "H-how?" he said softly. Tinsley laughed sympathetically.

     "What do you mean, how? Like you normally do; I won't break and neither will the baby, I promise." Ryan nodded, still not sure if it was okay to do this. It wasn't something he recalled learning a lot about in high school, or from anybody. Ryan carefully positioned himself over Tinsley's body, checking down at her growing belly to make sure he wasn't squishing her or something.

     "Ryan, it's okay, go ahead" Tinsley urged him gently, brushing his bangs out of his eyes, but desperately wanting to feel him inside her. He smiled at her and gently pushed himself inside Tinsley.

     "Holy fuck!" Tinsley gasped loudly as he slid in dick into her slowly. Ryan moaned a similar reaction, feeling his pulse escalate quickly. He started out slow, the incredible sensations torturing the both of them, until Tinsley grabbed his hips and forced him into her deeper.

     "Oh, shit," Ryan mumbled, loving Tinsley being in control. He pumped her quicker for a while, every now and then placing his hand on the baby, although he wasn't sure why. He pulled out of her after a few minutes and told her to get on top. Tinsley eagerly crawled on top of Ryan and slid him inside. They both found this position easier to manage and it brought Tinsley to her orgasm quicker, as it did for Ryan and he slowly found himself developing a pregnant girl fetish, or maybe it was simply because pregnancy looked so amazing on Tinsley at that exact moment. Ryan felt his body tighten as Tinsley's sounds of ecstasy got louder and they both came together in an earth shattering orgasm. Tinsley sat still, panting with Ryan still deep inside her. Ryan closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath, enjoying this rare moment he got alone with her.

     Slowly, Tinsley climbed off of Ryan and lay down beside him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, holding on as tight as he could. Even in her moment of post-orgasmic joy, she couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't feel like this with Ryan all the time. She soon felt his arms feeling heavy around her stomach, and noticed he was fast asleep.  She gently got out of the bed and half-sprinted to the bathroom, because she had to pee extremely bad. As she stepped out of the bathroom, Brendon caught her eye, but quickly looked back at his laptop, pretending like he didn't see her. She sighed. The animosity between Ryan and Brendon had almost been feeling unnatural. They were such a team that them not speaking but a few words seemed wrong. Feeling a sharp pain suddenly pulse through her abdomen, Tinsley stood still and groaned, wondering what the hell that was. Brendon looked up at her when she groaned and got concerned. She stood there rubbing her belly and taking deep breaths, knowing that she shouldn't be feeling like this at 5 months. A shadow overtook her body and she looked straight into those eyes, the ones that made her feel unsure about anything.

     "Are you okay? Do you want help sitting?" Brendon asked her carefully, fully aware that they weren't exactly friends right now. She nodded, grateful that someone was actually around to be concerned for her. She secretly hoped Ryan would wake up soon; she didn't really want to be alone with Brendon, not sure why she felt funny when he touched her arm to help guide her to the sofa. She plopped down and took one last deep breath as the pain subsided.

     "Are you okay?" Brendon asked again, his forehead wrinkled in concern and his eyes sparkling with interest. Tinsley nodded, feeling a little overwhelmed by the sudden pain and being in the presence of those eyes.

     "I'm fine. Probably just a little stress pain," she said, trying to also reassure herself. Brendon nodded, leaning back against the sofa next to her.

     "I'm sorry," he said after a few minutes. Tinsley looked over at him, and he turned his head to look at her. "I mean it, I was wrong, and as poor as he is at showing most of the time, Ryan loves you. He has to. I think I know my friend well enough to know when he's really into a girl. He's just scared. We all are," he added. Tinsley scoffed.

     "No shit," she replied, subconsciously rubbing her belly. Brendon couldn't help but stare it at. When had she gotten so big? "It's only going to get bigger, so stop staring," she quipped. Brendon looked away with a quick sorry.

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 9: I just wanna be by your side...(part one)

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 8: The homewrecker with a heart of gold (part two)

Title: "Snitches and Talkers get Stitches and Walkers" - Fall Out Boy
_________________

After deciding that I would take him home, I wanted to know that he wasn't just interested in me because he thought I would sleep with him. In the short time we were together in the car, I did find out some interesting things about him. I didn't know he was brought up Mormon (aka, in a freaking bubble) and he assured me that he was thinking of me a lot while they were away, he was playing the get with the girl through her friend game.

"When I found out about you and Ryan, it really sucked. I told him I liked you and wanted to know you better but he thought you were more into him, so he went for it. So this baby thing...are you going to come on the road with us?"

"I don't think I want to bring up a baby like that, really. Besides, Ryan is convinced I won't be able to come along anyway." Brendon nodded.

"It is kind of...taboo for a new band to already have such scandal. But take it from me, Ryan isn't your type. Someone like me is more your type." I smiled at him.

"I'm sure," I said jokingly.

"Seriously. Way better." I laughed. We arrived at my house and I found Hazel passed out on the couch with some 101 list playing on E!. I turned the TV off and turned to Brendon. The way the light was suddenly so dim in the apartment with just that full moon shinning in through the patio doors, made his unconventional facial features look even more distinguished. He looked like he was constantly thinking about something smart, like some tough math problem. He looked up at me and my heart skipped a beat when his eyes caught mine. God, those were some beautiful eyes.  He walked towards me and I just stood there, I felt overcome by this sudden rush of lust towards Brendon that I wasn't sure what else to do. His lips met mine and I just felt ok. I couldn't take it anymore and I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. After a few minutes locked in a serious kiss, I pulled away and took him upstairs. My room was a shithole, but I found myself not caring, just wanting to feel him inside me. I stood in front of him as we engaged in another kiss, as I slowly guided us down to my bed. Brendon gently lay down on top of me.

"Brendon...I...," I started to say but he cut me off by kissing me full force. Without warning, we were ripping our clothes off in a rush to satisfy the urge we felt growing in our bodies. Brendon soon trailed his kisses down my neck, took my nipples in his mouth, and sucked gently. I began moaning, my mind in a completely different world. He trailed his kisses lower and kissed my sex as I took a deep breath. He came back up and gently kissed my lips with his pillow soft ones. I felt him begin to enter me when I suddenly felt like I was having one of those sleep where it feels like your falling and it shocked me out of my trance. I became aware of my situation and an alarm went off. Why was I about the sleep with this guy?

"Brendon!" I exclaimed suddenly and he looked at me, panting.

"What?"

"Get off me! Please! Holy shit...," I quickly crawled out from underneath his skinny body and grabbed the closet piece of clothing I saw.

"What's the problem? You're a slut right, you'll sleep with anybody. What's making me any different?" He commanded. Tinsley stood at the edge of her bed and glared at him.

"Fuck you. I'm pregnant and it was an accident. I'm not a slut and I know I have real feelings for Ryan," she replied. Brendon snorted.

"Real feelings?" he repeated, grabbing his underwear and jeans off the floor, "you don't even fucking know the guy. You fucked him and got knocked up, what makes you think you know anything about what it means to have feelings for him?"

Tinsley smirked. What an asshole.

"I don't know, you tell me. You seem to be pretty smitten with him," she said in a sarcastic tone. Brendon pulled his shirt over his head and glared at her.

"You're a fucking bitch and I'm going to make sure you never see Ryan again."

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 7: The homewrecker with a heart of gold (part one)

Title: "Snitches and Talkers get Stitches and Walkers" - Fall Out Boy

     As I sat and seethed over Ryan and his major asshole-ness, I thought of a way for revenge. It was more my nature to get even than to get mad. I watched out my window as Ryan stormed to his car and furiously lit a cigarette and peeled up the road. I picked up my phone and dialed the only number I knew Ryan wouldn't want me to call:

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brendon? This is Tinsley, I have to tell you something." Silence.

"Why do you need to tell me? I don't even know you. Hey, do you know why Hazel never returns my calls?" I sighed. Ass.

"She doesn't like you, in fact, I think she hates you. But what I need to tell you has to do with Ryan...and me, but still, it has to do with Ryan and it will most likely effect the future of your band and I think you need to know."

"Man, that sucks. She was really hot." I rolled my eyes and wished he could see it. "What do you need to say?"

"Can I meet you somewhere? I'd like to tell you in person."

"I guess. I'll meet you halfway at that diner on the highway."

"Okay. I'm leaving now. See you in a half hour."

When I arrived at the diner, Brendon was already sitting, sipping on water. I saw him and smiled. Was he always this cute, did I miss something? He looked up and nodded in my direction, saying hey and I sat down across from him, suddenly not sure I wanted to this behind Ryan's back.

"So, what's so important?" he looked up at me from his straw. God, those are some eyes...I gulped.

"I, uh...well, to be honest, this seemed like a better idea on the phone. I was trying to get revenge on Ryan, but...I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm sorry, I wasted your time." I began to grab my purse and stand up...

"Are you the reason Ryan has been so edgy lately?" I stopped moving and looked at Brendon. He was studying me closely and suddenly I felt like I could confide in him.

"Most likely; he hasn't said anything to any of you?" Brendon shook his head. I took a deep breath. "Do you remember that night I came and saw you guys rehearse?" Brendon made a face as if he was trying to think back that far, I knew I was pretty invisible that night, anyway.

"Vaguely." I nodded.  "Ryan took me back to the city and stayed with me because he said he didn't want to go home. Well, we slept together and..." I sighed, Brendon's eyes were hard to look at, they looked so concerned, interested, "Fuck it. I'm pregnant and I know for a fact that it's Ryan's." I thought he was going to drop his cup, he chocked a little on his water.

"You can't be serious!" he exclaimed suddenly. I felt ashamed for the first time since I found out about the baby. "He, he doesn't even know you, you don't know him. Have you guys ever heard of condoms, they are useful in preventing these kinds of things." I glared at Brendon; he wasn't that cute after all.

"In the heat of the moment, it's exactly the first thing that comes to mind," I said coolly.

"Why are you telling me this anyway?

"Ryan said some hurtful things to me earlier, I was getting even by telling his band behind his back. "

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm okay with this, Tinsley, but I'm going to accept it because shit happens. We all make mistakes, I know. I've made a few."  I smiled at him.

"Thank you. I just don't want this to ruin what's happening for you guys right now. I want to be a part of Ryan's life, for the baby's sake, but I don't want to be a burden either." Brendon was just looking at me like I was a painting he couldn't understand. He was trying to read me and it was beginning to freak me out.

"I don't want to be forward, but can I just, try something?" I looked at him curiously, is this kid joking? I nodded in agreement anyway, but as he leaned over the table, my mind suddenly began screaming at me to turn away, move, something, but I stayed there and as his lips touched mine I felt all the blood rush to my head. I got my bearing back after a minute attached to his soft lips and pushed him away.

"What are you doing?"

"Baby or no baby, there's something about you..."

"Brendon..." He shook his head.

"Take me home with you."

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 6- "This is the last straw", she said, "and i won't wait for you forever"

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 5- I'm a whole lot of trouble, baby...

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter four: Trust me, I'm not O-fucking-kay

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter 2- Everybody wonders when they look at you

My Panic! fan fic. I wrote this before I fell out of infatuation with Ryan. Now Panic! is just music to me once again.

"Wonderwall" by getupngo

Chapter one: Journey to the Top

Note: Hey everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read this.  The first chapter is to set up the main girl, and Panic! will come in the next chapter. Leave comments and let me know what you guys think! Thanks!

Title: "Journey to the Top" - Alliyah

All girls, no matter who they are, deserve to be happy with themselves. My story is about how, once I, Tinsley, found myself, I lived everyday as my last. But what gave me that courage to do the things I call my carriers, I may never know.

     The year I turned 17, I had decided that sitting at home and going to school just weren't what I wanted to do. I wanted to get out, travel the country, meet new people and be everything no one ever thought I could be. I chose to finish high school by correspondence and take myself to LA and try to be a model. My goal was to be the face of a designer; I wanted my picture in all the magazines and in a sky high billboard in Times Square.

     I got to LA and bought myself a tiny, skanky apartment, made the best out of it and got a job...at a movie theater. I felt close enough to the stars that I knew I would become one. I was determined to find my crowd and make a name for myself. During my first month in LA, I found that I was very lonely, even with making friends at work, I still never hung out with anyone or went out anywhere and it was not how I imagined my glamorous Hollywood life turning out. I decided then, on my night off from work, that I was going out. I looked online and found the hottest Hollywood hotspot and committed to getting in.

Once I set a goal for myself, I achieve it no matter how hard.

I arrived at club LAX to find myself in the back of a very long line surrounded by some of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. If they couldn't get in, how did I stand a chance? I shrugged it off and walked around to the side entrance to see if I could sneak in. When I got there, I saw a man dressed in a very expensive looking suit talking to some gorgeous girls in barely-there dresses. I cautiously stood close enough to hear them but not to close enough to grab attention.

"So, you ladies are sure that you will come to my house this evening?" I heard the man ask. The girls nodded.

"When we make promises, we always keep them," the one replied in an obvious flirt. The man smiled slyly and nodded. He opened the door as the deafening music filled the alley and he showed the girls inside. As he walked in behind them, he turned and noticed me standing a few feet away.

"Can I help you, sweetheart?" the man yelled. I looked around, not sure that he was talking to me. "Yeah you, hunny. You look lost." He added. I turned red and nodded.

"I...I am a little lost, I haven't been in the city very long." I said, apprehensively approaching the man. As I got closer I noticed he couldn't have been older then 28 and that he was decently handsome.

"Is that right?" he answered, closing the door behind him. The music became muffled and the street suddenly sounded menacing.

"Yea, and I...uh...was just looking for a place to hang out and meet some new people." I replied. The man nodded and looked me up and down.

"How old are you, sweetheart?" he asked me. I froze. 17 would not be the correct answer.  So, I lied.

"21. Um, 2 months ago." I said. He nodded and gave me a crooked smile. He knew I was lying.

"Well, this is one of the most exclusive clubs around. What makes you think anyone will want you in here?" he asked. Ouch, I thought, that was pretty rude.

"Nothing, I just hoped. I've heard a lot of good things about you know, the DJ's and the crowds. Plus, I've never been to a club before, I just wanted to get the best experience I could." I said, hoping that was convincing. He continued to nod.

"What are you in LA to do? What's your dream?" he asked.

"I came here to model, I guess." I replied quietly.

"You guess? You can't achieve a dream if it's not something you really want. If you really want to be a model, then say it with confidence." He replied smirking. I smiled half heartedly. This city was cold, I hadn't realized it, but suddenly I had goosebumps and wanted a sweatshirt. "Now, say it confidently and I may know someone you can rub elbows with." He said. I just peered at him. There was no way that this guy wasn't giving me bullshit. He probably just wanted some arm candy or someone to fuck tonight.

"Actually, my newest dream is to go home to bed." I said as I turned to leave.

"Hey! I'm not fucking around. I have credentials," he yelled down the alley. I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at him.

"Have my card." He said as he held it out to me. I slowly walked up to him and took his card. His name was Sheppard Johnson, CPA. He worked for Ford Modeling Agency. He was a modeling scout.

"There are lots of opportunities I could offer a young girl like you. You've got the look that agencies are going crazy over. All-American, healthy and normal." He said. I looked at him. Was this guy serious? "Come inside, there are people you have to meet." I said, as he reached his hand out to me. I just stared at it for a second. Was I really going to do this, trust a total stranger with my dream? No day but today, I thought. I grabbed his hand and he opened the door. The alley was suddenly warm again, with the sounds the club. The door shut behind us...

***********************************************************************************

     Five months later I had landed my biggest gig yet. It required me to be half naked, smeared in car grease, but then again it was just another day at the office. Diesel Denim, and me, a Diesel girl. I was getting my sky-high billboard, right outside the windows on MTV studios. Sheppard had come through for me in ways I could never have imagined and I thanked him any time anyone asked who got me here.

     As I walked away from the set, covered in grease, I couldn't help but think I had achieved this dream and I was ready for a new one. I had recently seen the Pussycat Dolls and envied them. They were the most beautiful woman driving men crazy and having the time of their life. I wanted that and I was going to get it.

Once I set a goal for myself, I achieve it no matter how hard.

I arrived in Las Vegas at Pure nightclub the next week for auditions. The first audition was only to see how we looked and to check our personalities. I'm a charmer, a real smooth talker and I knew they would like me and they also mentioned how impressed they were with my resume. They told me to come back tomorrow so I could have a dance audition. I went back the next day and was given the skimpiest outfit I had ever seen and boots with the largest heels I had ever seen and a routine void of any real technical skills, but it was, of course, very sexy. I practiced a few times until my name was called and I slinked up to the stage. It was really empowering to be in this outfit and on that stage. I saw the swing and the gigantic martini glass and started to shake. I wanted this so bad, I wanted to feel this kind of power nightly. I walked up the chair in the middle of the stage and began to dance. I looked straight at the judges with the most seductive stare I could muster while I worked my routine. When it was all over, I was huffing but was so satisfied. The whole experience was like having the best orgasm I could imagine. I wanted to feel that amount of pleasure every night. The judges smiled.

"When can you start?"

"Ghost of You and Me" by getupngo

Chapter 2- Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul...

"Ghost of You and Me" by getupngo

Chapter one- It isn't love, it's robbery...

Title: "Ghost of You and Me" - BBMak

I've decided to upload my other Fall Out Boy story "Ghost of You and Me". Now here's your warning and I don't want to hear ANY ANY ANY COMPLAINTS! I'm giving you fair warning so If you don't want to read this, do not proceed!

THIS STORY INVOLES GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF RAPE! IF THIS BOTHERS YOU IN THE LEAST, DO NOT READ! If you can handle this type of material, please read and reveiw. I GAVE YOU FAIR WARNING PLEASE DO NOT COMPLAIN TO ME!
Please review! I'll take good and bad, I just don't want complaints!

Also, I'm well aware that Pete would never ACTUALLY do this, so don't feel the need to inform me of that. That's why it's called fiction, kiddies!

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 12- You slendered threads and things to treasure (part two)

AN: Hm...i don't even know how I'm getting where I'm going in this story, but it's going there...

Title: "Dusk and Summer" - Dashboard Confessional

Corbin wasn't sure how long she was out. She actually wasn't at all sure where she was. She heard a faint, incessant beep, and when she tried to move, she felt something tug at her skin. She looked down to see an IV strapped to her hand and the beep was telling her she was alive. Feeling alarmed, she looked around the dim room. There was another bed not too far away from hers and she noticed someone in it. She smiled to herself. He was always the only one to care.

     "Pete?" she said. Her voice was extremely raspy and she could taste vomit in her saliva. She still wasn't sure how she got there, but she figured he had something to do with it.

     Pete had fallen restlessly asleep, taking the red eye out of London to be by Corbin's side. He remembered how badly he needed someone while he was in the hospital, he could only imagine she felt the same way. His eyes snapped open when he thought he heard his name called. He looked over and saw Corbin looking at him, at light smile on her face. His heart raced, he felt so relieved to see her awaken. Slowly, he stood up and approached her. She looked terrible, but he imagined he didn't look to gorgeous either after almost dying and having his stomach pumped.

     "Hi," he said to her softly. She smiled. "How are you feeling?" he asked, carefully sitting next to her on the bed. She scooted over a little to allow him room and sighed.

     "As I good as I can, I guess. What happened? How did I even get here?" she asked him, her voice barely above a whisper. He told her how she called him and how he called 911 and had taken the last flight out to get here. Corbin let her eyes close as she listened to his voice. She heard every word and was amazed that he still cared so much about her. After all this time and all the pain...then she remembered, her baby...

     "Pete? Did the doctors say anything else about me? Is everything okay?" she asked. He raised his eyebrow.

     "What do you mean?" he questioned her. She wasn't sure if she should just say it, or if she should forget it, but she really wanted to know if she was still going to have a baby.

     "I want to know if I'm still pregnant," she said. Pete just stared at her. His stomach did a back flip when he heard those words. Pregnant?

     "When..." he cleared his throat. He wasn't sure if he was happy to hear this or upset. He and Corbin weren't even together anymore and a baby just wasn't something he had in his immediate life plan.

     "I found out yesterday. I guess I kind of freaked out," she said, smiling. Pete wasn't laughing. He wasn't finding any of this even remotely amusing. He stood up and backed away from the bed. Patrick...hadn't she...what if...

     "Holy shit," Pete muttered to himself. Corbin looked at him in question. Pete shook his head. "That baby might not even be mine!" he said, suddenly feeling an insane amount of jealousy. He was still entertaining thoughts of him and Corbin settling down, him taking a break from the glare of Hollywood for a while, but now? He wanted Corbin to have his children someday, but he couldn't be sure that this was his child. Corbin slowly sat up, feeling every muscle in her body scream in pain. She felt like she had been hit by a large truck.

     "Pete, I know. But there is a better chance it is yours. I just need you to be here for me right now, please?" she asked him. He continued to stare at her, realizing his jaw was hanging open and he snapped it shut.

     "I want a DNA test for I commit to anything, even remotely, with you," Pete replied. Corbin let her eyes linger on him for a moment before looking down and the white sheets. How could she have been so stupid? Pete had never done anything wrong or to hurt her in any of the four years she had known him. She screwed up so badly. She remembered how much she hurt when she was in Pete's position, watching him suffer not only inside of his mind, but watching everything and everyone around him suffering too. Corbin felt a tear slip down her cheek and she sniffed. Why did she always have to do this?

     "I'm so sorry, Pete. You don't deserve this. Please, just go," she said. She felt like she had no right to even be near him anymore. She caused him nothing but pain and anguish all the time and he needed otherwise. His mental state was always too fragile for him to have to deal with Corbin. Pete didn't know what to say. Every time she told him he didn't deserve her, he felt like yelling, 'what's better then you?' He didn't want anything else and the more he looked, the more he realized that there actually wasn't anything better. Even with all of baggage, Pete never cared to see if some one was out there like her, without all the excess, but the excess is what made her Corbin. It's what made her the girl Pete loved, unconditionally. His love without boundaries. He was about to say something when a nurse walked in and started to fuss with Corbin and her many wires. Pete backed away to sit on the bed and let his eyes travel to her stomach. She would look so beautiful carrying his child, he just knew it. But he couldn't help but wonder if the child really was Patrick's...

     Corbin asked the nurse if she knew if she was still pregnant. The nurse said she didn't know but offered to go find someone who did. A few minutes later a doctor came in to inform her that she was still in fact with child, but she was very lucky. Corbin then requested a DNA test, just as Pete wanted and the doctor brought a nurse in to draw some blood. He promised to let her know by the end of the day.

     Corbin sat on her bed, rubbing her growing belly. She sighed; she knew she had lost him. The news was so devastating to Pete; he left without even a goodbye. The only thing left was to tell Patrick he was going to be a Dad.

     Upon her release from the hospital, it once again left her homeless. She had nothing but boxes in her old dorm room and wished against reality that this would be Pete's baby. She wanted to lie down next to him on his bed and talk about baby names and where they were going to put a crib. But that wasn't going to happen, ever. She still knew deep down that he wasn't going to stay away forever, they weren't meant to be apart.

     Corbin trudged down Patrick's street, dragging her small suitcase behind her. She saw his house merely feet away and keep walking on, despite her mind telling her to run to Pete's house and beg for forgiveness and his love. She was empty inside without it...

     She lifted a shaky hand and rang the doorbell. Shivering against the Chicago wind, she stood there for a while. He was home, she knew he was. She rang the doorbell again, this time hearing shuffling coming from inside the house. The door opened and Patrick stood there, shocked to see Corbin standing on his front porch looking so lost and alone. She smiled at him gently.

     "Um...what's up?" he asked her. Corbin shrugged. What's the best way to tell someone your one night stand resulted in a child?

     "Nothing, really. I just really need to talk to you. Can I come inside? It's freezing out here," she said, beginning to approach the doorway. Patrick stuck his hand out to stop her.

     "Now's not a good time, Corbin. I'm sorry," he said. She looked him puzzled. He wasn't looking her in the eyes, but staring at his hard wood floor like he expected it to toss her out. Corbin was about to ask him why when a slender figure emerged from the living room to stare at Corbin. She looked from the girl to Patrick and was able to put two and two together. Corbin was always one to have a healthy amount of self-confidence but seeing Patrick with the model-like girl made her feel about two feet tall. She refused to cry in front of him again, let alone over this.

     "I'm sorry to bother you, Patrick. I just...there's something you should know," she began. Patrick nodded and told the girl to go wait for him. He walked outside with Corbin and shut the door. She sighed and looked at him, scared to death of the news she had to bring him.

     "What's up? I really can't talk too long," he said. Corbin wanted to hit him. This wasn't something she wanted to rush, but he was basically giving her no choice.
     "Well, since you're in such a hurry...I'm pregnant. And it's not Pete's. Just thought you should know," she said, standing up and running away from his house as fast as she could. Patrick stood frozen. That couldn't be right...it was only one time. He turned to see her walking as fast as she could away from his sight. He shouldn't have let her leave...

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 11- Some things tie a life together (part one)

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 10- I know that you'll be my downfall

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 9- Just take your time and put your lips on mine...

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 8 - Then I wondered how it would be...

Title: "Walk Me Home" - Mandy Moore     

Corbin felt like she was fourteen again, hiding in her room, entranced with her forbidden fruit. She missed the burn vodka gave her, a sensation no man could recreate. She began to hear rustling outside the bedroom door, realizing Pete must be back. If he caught her he would absolutely throw a huge shit fit. Not realizing how drunk she really was, she stood up fast and quickly ran to the dresser underneath the TV and carefully placed the tiny bottles and the coke cans inside the drawer. She shut it and steadied herself, trying hard to sober up a little. The door to the bedroom swung open, making Corbin jump. She turned to see Pete and smiled at him, trying her best to put on an innocent face. Pete looked her funny; he knew that look, she was up to something. He started to walk towards her and Corbin let her breath out, suddenly smelling the strong scent of alcohol. Panicking, she rushed past Pete to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Pete stopped in mid-stride, wondering what the hell was up with her. When she slammed the bathroom door shut behind her, Pete continued walking over to the dresser where she was standing and opened up the top drawer. He pulled it back slowly, only to find his blood pressure begin to rise. She just wouldn't stop! Completely frustrated and feeling slightly stupid, Pete walked to the bathroom and banged on the door. From inside, Corbin nearly jumped out her skin.

     "Get out here!" She heard Pete yell. She sat down on the toilet seat lid, steadying her dizzy head. Pete found the alcohol, she knew it and normally she would stand up to him, but it had been over two months since she last had a drink, plus she hadn't eaten all day and she was drunker then she wanted to be; not quite to the point of throwing up, but still very drunk. Pete banged on the door again, feeling himself getting angrier by the second. He really didn't want to fight with her, especially not today, but she was almost leaving him no choice, he was dumb founded by her decision to drink. He partly felt at fault though, not remembering to remove any alcohol in the room or even requesting for it to be removed. But at the same time, she was twenty years old; she shouldn't need to have a baby sitter. Pete brought his fist down to his side and decided to go do just that. He sat on the bed and dialed the front desk, asking someone to come up to the room immediately to take the booze out and that he would pay for what had been drunk. Corbin shivered, the cool air from the vent creeping up her skirt. She felt completely abandoned suddenly, like even Pete didn't care enough to fight with her anymore. As she sat a shivered on the cold toilet seat, she wondered about her drunken mind, thinking for a minute about what Pete actually meant to her. She pondered the question for a few minutes and no answer came to her mind. She felt startled that she couldn't even place what Pete meant to her. He didn't specifically mean happiness, security, or love, really. He just was just so permanent he had lost his meaning. Corbin didn't like that thought at all. She knew she loved him like nobody else, but she wasn't sure what else there was. Determined, she stood up and walked out the bathroom, rounding the corner to see Pete lying in the middle of the bed staring at the TV like he had never seen one before. She walked over to him, yanking the remote out of his hands and turning off the flat screen. Pete rolled his eyes to look at her, not moving at all. She stood in front of him with her hands on her hips.

     "I was just thinking," she began, surprised by the amount of slurring in her voice, "you have become such a fixture in my life that I don't even know what you mean to me anymore." She said, feeling rather confident that she said what she meant until she saw the look on Pete's face go from emotionless, to sad in a rather quick second.

     "What the hell?" he asked, sitting up. Corbin wasn't exactly sure, because she wasn't completely sure what she had said to begin with. She continued on with what made perfect sense in her drunken mind.

     "Pete, I just mean that you've been in my life for a while now and that it's just that you've sort of become monotonous to me, like you're always there and I always expect you to be there." Pete stood up and slowly walked to her to be level with her eyes.

     "I'm SICK of this. I'm tired of your relapses and I'm tired of your excuses and the things you say when you're drunk. I'm done, for real. I can't save you and you don't want to me saved and it's not my place to do so. I'm sorry, Core. You've got to go." Corbin stood staring at him flabbergasted. Did he just tell her to go?

     "You drag me out on the road with you, make me drop out of my sophomore year of college and now you're telling me to go?! GO?! GO WHERE, PETER!?! I have no home! I never have, you're all I've had since I was 16! Where the fuck would you like me to go?" Corbin screamed at him. She was furious. Here and now? He was just going to cut her loose. Couldn't he wait until the tour was over...something? Mercy, Mr. Wentz!

     "Corbin, I don't care what you do. As far as I'm concerned we are through. I don't care how amazing out sex is it's not worth it anymore. Just GO!" Corbin felt the tears begin to rip throw her body. Alcohol not only made her more emotional then usually, it tended to make her overreact, something Pete should've been well aware of...SMASH!

     A tiny bottle of Grey Goose Vodka smashed against the wall behind Pete's head.

     SMASH!

     A tiny bottle of Absolut Vodka smashed against the dresser behind Pete's back.  Without anytime to react, one Pepsi can after the other, one open, one closed, met his thigh was a painful thud as Corbin screamed at him how violently she hated him, grabbed her bag and proceeded to exit both the bedroom and the hotel room with as much noise and force as possible. Pete watched her go silently, the pain in his heart so extreme he thought he was going to succumb to his oncoming tears. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his sore thigh where the Pepsi cans had hit him. He picked one up and stared at the other leaking vodka laced Pepsi all over the carpet. Soon feeling completely anxious about something, Pete growled softly and gripped the can tight. A second later he hurled it at the wall on the opposite side of the room and watched it explode all over everything in a five foot radius. He felt like it was a nice personification of how his dying heart was feeling at that exact moment...

     Upset, angry, frustrated, heartbroken and ultimately drunk, Corbin stabbed at the elevator buttons. She was shaking with fury, how dare he! Her eyes were leaking black tears, her mascara sliding slowly down her face. She closed her eyes and thought as rationally as she could for a moment, but nothing was coming to her. She was homeless. She sighed as the elevator door dinged and wiped at her moist face. She opened her eyes to see a familiar guy standing there, take out in his hands.

     "Whoa, Corbin. You okay?" he asked. Corbin breathed deep.

     "No, I'm drunk, Pete just dumped me and I'm homeless." She replied. Patrick looked horribly unsurprised. "You knew about this, didn't you?" He nodded solemnly stepping out of the elevator.

     "He said if you fucked up again it was over, no question. I just never thought he would actually do it...and now? Seems pretty shitty. You can stay in my room if you want. There a really bug couch in there?" He offered. "Plus I have food," he added with a charming smile. Maybe Corbin was really drunk, but Patrick looked welcoming and warm today. She smiled.

     "Some food might help sober me up. Okay, I'll stay with you. Just, don't tell Pete," she added. Patrick gave her a nod and helped her walk back to his room...

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 7 - The keg. It's bleeding, I think I need to help it die...

Title: "The Keg is Bleeding" - Say Anything

Corbin sat on the large bus, at 3:30am, throwing a banana peel that helped Ditty Kong win the race. She sighed as Ditty raised his arms in triumph; she wished she could feel so elated. It had now been two months and she had taken her beatings as a merch girl and as a roadie and now she was done. She had demoted herself to just being Pete's girlfriend, full time. That alone was a damn hard job.

     She got startled as a hoodie was hurled in her direction, which she immediately recognized as Pete's. She looked up at him and he smiled. He looked half asleep, but completely cute in his pajamas. She pressed pause on the GameCube as he took a seat behind her and placed his head on her shoulder.

     "Can't sleep?" he asked. She nodded, shrugged his head away and leaned back against the couch. Pete looked at her carefully. Even though they hadn't spent more then two hours apart at a time in the last two months, he felt like he hadn't seen her in forever. This tour was really beginning to piss him off. He wanted nothing more than to settle down slightly with Corbin, he wanted to be able to really see her everyday, which was something he wasn't able to do while on the road. He always felt so tired and drained; he was never able to devote the time that he wanted to give her. He glanced at the clock by the flat screen TV and yawned at the four a.m. Corbin sighed for the billionth time that night and laid her head on Pete's lap. Pete stroked her hair and smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around his back. She took a deep breath; she always loved breathing in the smell of his body wash. That smell always reminded her of the first night she kissed him, and the first time a guy ever made her wet without even touching her. He was pretty much her first everything and unlike most girls, she never questioned if there was something more, something better. Suddenly feeling extremely frustrated, she sat up and looked him in the eyes. Her light brown hair was sitting just below her shoulders and proved of the restless sleep she was having before committing to the video game. Pete stared into her brown eyes, registering the look of rushed excitement in her gaze. Without hesitation, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers gently. Corbin was in no mood for gentle, and pressed her lips against his harder, forcing his mouth apart with her tongue. Quickly getting the hint, it appeared to be urgent that they get their clothes off as fast as possible.

     Hastily yanking her shirt over her head, Corbin positioned herself to strattle Pete's legs. Pete reached up and pulled her hair lightly, forcing her to lean her head back as he began kissing her neck. She reached down between their bodies and rubbed Pete's growing hard on through his pajama pants. He groaned into her neck, moving so he could grip her waist. He grabbed her and laid her on her back on the couch, leaning down to kiss her neck again, this time trailing his kisses lower. He kissed her breasts and she unhooked her bra and tossed in on the table behind them. She gasped as he sucked gently, Corbin wriggling underneath him. She missed being able to make love to Pete because they were never alone. Even now they both knew they were running a large risk of waking someone or having someone walk in on them. Forgetting the potential consequences, Corbin slid her sweatpants and panties down as Pete quickly yanked off his own pants. He reached down to feel her wetness, Corbin groaning as he slipped two fingers inside her. He watched her face with a smile; he always did like making her feel good. After he was satisfied that she was ready to go, he moved her so he could lie on his back and Corbin rushed to push him inside her. As she slid down his length, she moaned his name causing Pete to push his hips up to meet her. Corbin threw her head back and dug her nails into his Clandestine tattoo on his lower abdomen.  She bounced up and down on him as he breathed heavily, both of them trying desperately not to make too much noise. Corbin warned Pete of her oncoming orgasm, sat down and ground their hips together as she felt an amazing sensation rip through her body. Pete thrusted himself up into her one last time as he came, letting her name gasp out of his mouth. Satisfied, Corbin collapsed onto Pete as he tried to catch his breath, rubbing his thumb up and down her spine.

     "We should do this more often," she said, giggling lightly. Pete chuckled.

     "We should."

     As the bus rolled onto the next venue, Corbin was sitting in the back room, listening to her Ipod and minding her own business. The door suddenly flew open and Pete bum-rushed her, laying kisses all over her neck. Rolling her eyes and yanking her headphones out of her ears, she pushed Pete away.

     "What's wrong?" said asked, knowing the only time he ever spontaneously jumped her was when he was mad and no one would fight with him. He sat back on his legs and sighed.

     "Nothing, I'm just tired of being on this bus, I've got cabin fever," he said standing up and pacing. Corbin closed her eyes, because pacing made her crazy. After letting him burn a path in the carpet for several minutes, she yelled,

     "Just sit THE FUCK down, Peter!" Startled he looked at her and quickly sat next to her. "We have two days to get to the next place, which we will make it plenty of time. Let's ask to get a hotel, take a real shower and just enjoy space from everyone for a while, okay?" Pete nodded and laid his head on her shoulder.

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 6 - and I don't know, how to be fine when I'm not (part two)

Title: "Just So You Know: - Jesse McCartney

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 5- It's Getting hard to be around you, there's so much I can't say (part one)

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 4- I closed my eyes and dreamt you up one day...

AN: Filler chapter! some backround and then the story will continue.

 
Title: "Lock Me In Your Heart" - Mandy Moore (old school)

Pete and Corbin met a few years ago, right when Fall Out Boy was discussing signing with Fueled by Ramen. She was sixteen at the time and he was twenty-three.  Corbin had just moved to the city following the death of her mother, who died as a result of her battle with lung cancer and liver failure due to her drinking. Corbin was put into the foster care system and found herself in a home in Chicago. One of the girls in the house was really into the local punk scene and noticed Corbin was mainly into pop music and had never seen a concert aside from boy bands, so she decided to show her 'real music'. Corbin ended up going to a local music hall to hear a bunch of bands play, which included Fall Out Boy. She loved the experience. Watching a band play live was sort of liberating to her. The show started with some bad bands with tiny followings and the bands progressively got better as the hall became more crowded. The last band was about to play and there was barely room to move. When the band came out, all the kids went nuts.

     "We're Fall Out Boy, bitches!" she heard the bassist yell, "And this is 'Calm Before the Storm.'" The band began to play and the place went insane. People were moshing and screaming the words along with the singer. Corbin couldn't believe the people moshing and running around and she was instantly hooked. The girl that Corbin came with left her to be with her friends, so ultimately she was lost and alone. The show ended and Corbin just sat on a step wondering how the hell she was getting back home. The hall slowly cleared out as the bands packed up their vans. Corbin stood up, walked out the nearest door and found herself among the bands that had played that night. There were tons of people milling around talking, smoking and some having full on tailgate parties.

     Pete sat on the edge of the van, talking to a couple of his friends, getting read to go party. A girl then walked out of the side door and froze. She looked young and completely lost. Pete left the conversation he was having and approached her because he sensed she needed help.

     "Hey," he said as he walked up to the girl. She looked startled at first, and then smiled at him wearily. "Do you need help or something? You're not really supposed to be out here," he said as nicely as possible. She nodded.

     "Yeah, I've never been here before and I actually have to idea where I am. The girl who brought me here ditched me. Fucking bitch," Corbin muttered under her breath. Pete smiled, he liked that attitude.

     "Do you want me to help you get your directions back?" he asked her. He felt bad for her, being in an unfamiliar place, especially a city like Chicago, can get confusing very easily.

     "It actually wouldn't help. I have no clue the name of the street I live on or the general direction I even need to go in. We took a cab here, that's all I know," Corbin said, getting embarrassed at how stupid she must have sounded to this guy. Pete shrugged, not sure how to help her.

     "Well, I guess I can take you back to my house to use the phone or something. I'm Pete, by the way," he said motioning her to follow him. "I'll see you guys later!" Pete yelled to the van. Everyone nodded or waved as Corbin wearily followed behind him.

     "I'm Corbin. Are you sure this is okay? I don't want to bother you," she said felling unsure that she trusted this guy. He nodded.

     "It's fine, you can just call wherever you need to go and then I'll help you get there," he said. She nodded. They walked along the street in silence for many blocks, occasionally Pete would look at her making to sure she was still following behind him, until they got to what looked like the edge of the city. There was a parking lot there that Pete walked into and got in an SUV. Corbin stood a foot away, wondering where he was taking her. He opened his car door and looked at her.

     "You coming?" she nodded, still not sure what was going on. She got in the passenger seat. "I don't actually live in the city, just outside of it," he explained, seeing the odd fear on her face. "I promise I'm not doing anything shady." She nodded and laughed a little. She should learn to trust people a little more sometimes, but it was hard for her to trust anyone at this point in her life.

     "If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and why don't you know where you live?" he asked, not liking how uncomfortable she seemed. She sighed.

     "I'm sixteen and I just moved here. My mom died and now I'm in the system waiting for someone to want me enough, I guess," she said, hating admitting that she was an orphan.

     "Sixteen? Really? I thought maybe eighteen or nineteen, and I'm sorry about your mom," Pete replied. Corbin just nodded.

     "It was for the best, I suppose." Pete nodded, not wanting to press such a touchy issue. They arrived at Pete's house; his parents were asleep as were his siblings so he told her to quietly follow him up to his room. She wished she lived in this house instead of the crumbling place that was the foster house. She glanced at the clock in his room and saw it was one am and knew she would be in so much trouble if she called at this hour.

     "Um, Pete? I really appreciate you letting me use your phone and stuff, but I can't call at this hour, I'll be skinned alive," she said watching him hastily push clothes and other things out of the way so she could walk inside. Pete looked at her and then looked at the clock nodding.

     "Yea...do you just want to stay here? I have two beds, obviously. Just a suggestion," he said, seeing her make a face. "I don't really know what else you would do anyway." Corbin nodded, realizing she really didn't have much of a choice. Pete walked away toward the bathroom and Corbin laid down on one of the beds and quickly fell asleep. She hadn't realized how tired she actually was.

     "Corbin," Pete began walking, "I can give you a t-shirt and..." he walked into his room and saw her fast asleep on one of the beds. He smiled a little, she was cute. Young, but cute, and he wished silently that she was at least two years older so he wouldn't feel so creepy about thinking she was attractive. He just pulled the covers over her and took off his pants and climbed into bed, unsure of what exactly he was feeling.

     Corbin woke up a few hours later, the clock said six am. She looked to her right and saw Pete fast asleep. He was fucking cute as hell. She wondered how old he was, definitely older then her, maybe twenty-one? She wasn't sure, but she felt cold and yearned to be in his arms. He had a few tattoos on his arms, one specifically was Jack from a 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and she thought that was weird, but they kind of looked good on him. She wanted to actually lie in his arms and study them. Boldly, she walked up to the bed, which was a single person bed, and poked him. He rubbed his eyes and opened them to smile at her.

     "Can I lay with you? It's a little cold," she said, using an excuse to get closer to him. He nodded and scooted over as much as he could which still didn't leave to much room. She laid down facing him and laid her head near his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, felt his heart skip and got scared. She's sixteen! He tried to tell himself over and over but couldn't deny the way he was feeling. Corbin to, was fighting the powerful urge to kiss him but something proved to be more powerful then themselves. Corbin leaned her head back and given their closeness, just pushed her lips against his. Pete wasn't sure if he should pretend like he wasn't interested, but every second that passed with his lips on hers, his defenses got weaker. It started out as just a kiss on the lips, but it erupted into a full on make out session. Pete rolled onto his back, pulling Corbin on top of him. She could feel him getting hard through her jeans and started to grind on him. She was a virgin, but was horny enough and so into Pete that she would have done anything at this point. She tugged at the bottom of his shirt, wanting him to take it off, she wanted to see his tattoos but Pete miraculously resisted the urge to get completely naked with her and was able to find enough strength to tell her to stop. He slid out from underneath her and stood up, pulling on pants as he walked to the bathroom. Corbin couldn't believe what just happened. She didn't even know this guy! It was at least seven am by this point and Corbin decided to take it upon herself to call the house. She got the address with simple directions. Pete came back into his room and looked at Corbin. He didn't know what he was feeling anymore. She knew exactly what she was feeling, but knew Pete thought she was too young for him, which she was legally speaking.

     "Can you take me home now, please?" she asked him, trying to leave her tone light, but it ended up sounded rather annoyed. He nodded and she followed him out of the house where she saw his parents, and she tried to avoid their eyes. The pair of them was silent the whole way to Corbin's home. He pulled up outside and smiled at her.

     "I'm really glad we met," he offered, trying to not bring up the make out. She smiled back, but felt like she might have sneered. She was a little annoyed that he was acting like they didn't kiss.

     "I know you're older then me Pete, but I hope someday you'll me a chance. I think we could be something special," she said, opening the door and hoping out. "Email me sometime I guess," she added handing him a slip of paper. He nodded as she shut the door.

     It wasn't until over two years later that Pete ever got around to emailing Corbin. He told her he wanted to give it a shot, knowing now that she was old enough and invited her to see Fall Out Boy at the Warped Tour when they were in town.

     Pete spotted her from a mile away, he never forgot that face. It felt like they had never left each other, that morning still feeling so new. She started with a walk up to him, but it turned into a run and she almost collapsed in his arms. They hadn't spoken in two years but it didn't change the feelings they had and it all felt okay. Corbin told Pete she was in ruins. Just like her mother, alcohol was ruining her life and she was homeless and jobless because she couldn't stop. Pete put her up in a rehab, costing him thousands of his own cash and saw her through until she was able to come home, she lived in his room until she was about to go get into college. Pete's parents weren't terribly supportive of Pete's decision to date such a young, messed up girl, but they knew there son well enough to know he was able to handle the situation. She finished high school while in rehab, then got finical aid and went to school to pursue her passion. They thought she had won...

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 3- I never said don't go...don't go...

Title: "This Ruined Puzzle" - Dashboard Confessional

Pete woke up in the middle of the night hearing his phone vibrate on his nightstand. He had fallen asleep upset and was having a bad dream. He glanced at his clock which read 2:45 and he groaned.

     "Hello?" he said groggily...

"This Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 2- Destructive Words to make it so, but none of this is you you know...

Title: "Give It All Away" - Ben Jelen

After a night of drinking rather heavily, with Pete chugging his Red Bulls by her side, Corbin was feeling a little emotional. Pete completely surprised her by being in the city and whole week early and especially by randomly being at a club by her dorm. She really felt like giving him a proper welcome home evening, but ended up getting completely smashed, and the alcohol came to a point where it started to taste like water and she lost control of the situation. Corbin reached out for her fifth Ketel One and tonic and somehow actually managed to drink it, but ended up not sitting her glass down straight, the bits of ice sliding across the table and she giggled and tried in vain to put them back in her glass. Pete hadn't really been paying much attention to Corbin all night, choosing to talk to his band mates and a few of their friends, because he was sort of pissed off at her decision to drink. He didn't even realize the amount she had drank until he noticed the sloppy way her glass fell over and glared at her. She turned and grinned at him.

     "Core, what are you doing?" he asked her harshly. She giggled again.

     "Having a drink, duh," she replied. He continued to glare at her. He was straight edge, but was not one of those people who tries to force his ideals on other people, merely suggests them as an option for the open minded individual, but he would expect his girlfriend to at least respect him more then this, but she never did.

     "You're wasted. Stop it," he said, pulling the glass from her hand. She smacked him on the arm and stared him down. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Corbin looked away, upset that he was upset with her. She huffed.

     "What's the fucks your problem, Pete?" she yelled, yanking her drink back. He let go of it, but refused to look at Corbin. He was in disbelief at her behavior; she was actually starting to get embarrassing. She downed her sixth Ketel One and tonic and tried to order another, but Pete signaled to the waitress to not get one. She suddenly announced the she had to pee (no kidding) and slowly tried to stand up and her wobbly legs. She got halfway up and fell back down on her ass, laughing the whole time. Patrick was sitting on her right and put his hand out to catch her, thinking she was going to wipe out, but she ended up just sitting.

     "Pete," Patrick began, leaning behind Corbin to reach him, "you might want to get her out of here, they are going to stop serving her anyway if she stays like this," he gently suggested. Pete nodded, wanting absolutely nothing to do with Corbin at this moment, but he knew Patrick was right. He reached around Corbin's giggling shoulders and she jumped, turning to stare at him. Her eyes were completely glazed over; she looked like she had a fog around her. She shrugged at Pete's hands and when he didn't remove them, she started to shove at them.

     "Pete, get off me!" she yelled at him. He stayed with his arm around her, trying to get her to calm down, but in doing so he was only making her madder.

     "Come on, let's get out of here," he said, wishing he were saying that so they could go make love, which was his ultimate goal his first night back at home.

     "No! I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm having fun, maybe you should try it," she snapped at him. She really knew that Pete was one of the most fun people in the world, but she wasn't exactly thinking clearly. The waitress actually brought her another drink, to Pete's huge surprise, and Corbin chugged it down in a few seconds. That made seven.

     "Corbin!" he yelled at her, as she sat the glass down with a bang. She felt fine for a second, but the very next second she felt her stomach churn. She got up in a hurry, stumbling over Patrick and his girlfriend as she high tailed it to the nearest rest room. Pete watched her go and felt his temper being to rise. Joe was sitting on Pete's left and felt his friend's anger.

     "Try not to over react when she comes back, dude," Joe said to him, drinking a decent amount himself. Pete just shook his head and stood up, making his way to the ladies room to intercept Corbin. A few seconds later, she emerged from the bathroom, looking absolutely fine. She saw Pete, but chose to ignore him, feeling angry with him for being so uptight. She walked past him but he grabbed her arm and she stopped.

     "Let me go, Pete. I don't want to go home yet. I'm just having a good time," she said, glaring at him.
     
     "I'm not letting you go until we get back to my house. You're acting like a fucking child, Corbin," he spat at her. He knew how to press her buttons when he wanted to and with both of them being Gemini's; they usually set off at the exact same time. Their seven year age difference was one of the major things she hated him bringing up.

     "Fuck you," she replied, pulling her arm from his grip. She began storming away from him but he jogged up to her, cutting her off this time knowing he was going to be able to get her out of the club without to much of a scene.

     "Leave me alone!" she screamed at him. He grabbed her hand, thinking it was less bossy then grabbing her arm again and she followed him out of the club and into the dim Chicago street.

     "What the fuck is your problem, Peter!?" she yelled at him.

     "You're drunk and I just want to get back to my house, okay? I'm just trying to help," he replied. Corbin laughed mockingly at him.

     "That's so funny! I can go fucking months without you and I still manage to know how to fucking breath, what makes you think I need you now?" she replied angrily.

     "You know there isn't a god damn thing I can do about my job and how long it keeps me away! I just care about you and I'm just trying to make sure you're safe!"

     "Oh my god, Pete! You don't care about me! You could give less then a shit about me," she replied beginning to walk up the street, "Do you ever call me when you're away? No. Do you ever IM me, myspace me, send me a fucking owl? No. Nothing. Jesus, you are god knows where all the time doing god knows what with god knows who while I'm sitting in class, going to play rehearsal, and getting paid minimum wage! It gets really lonely around here a lot without you. I'm surrounded by you, everywhere I look there you are, but you never even think of me!"  Pete was rendered speechless, which doesn't happen very often. It was true that he didn't call her while he was away; it just hurts too much to have to hear her voice but not be able to hold her.

     "That's bullshit and you know it is!" he said following close behind her, "Okay I may not call you every night but the fact that you think I don't think about you is bullshit. You are always on my mind, so much in fact that I do all I can to stop thinking about you." Corbin wasn't sure what he meant, but she seemed to recall doing the same thing just earlier that day. She felt her head begin to pulse. The mixture of alcohol and anger in her brain just hit her and she wanted another drink. She got to the corner of West Belmont and hailed a cab, knowing she would probably get busted for public intoxication and underage drinking if she stayed on the road. Pete climbed into the cab behind her and they sat in silence back to her dorm.

     Once inside, Corbin headed straight for the liquor her and her roommate kept in a down low cabinet, hidden behind stacks of dishes. Pete quickly went to the bathroom, ready for round two of this fight. Corbin pulled out some vodka and grabbed a Red Bull out her fridge and just poured them both into a glass. Pete came back from the bathroom to see Corbin begin to pour herself more alcohol and thought he was going to kill her. He walked up behind her and yanked the bottle of vodka out of hand, silently wondering how her and her roommate had obtained such a collection of alcohol.

     "Pete, just leave me the fuck alone and go home to your mommy, okay. I'm not in the mood," she said in reply to him taking her vodka away, "I know you don't drink, but I do so get the fuck over it. I'm a big girl; I know how to handle myself!"

     "No you're not. You're a child. You don't know half the things I do. I've seen a lot in my life so far and you obviously don't know how to handle yourself because you don't know when you've had enough!"

     "Get out! Don't ever call me a fucking child again! Get out of here!" Corbin screamed at Pete. She couldn't believe it! Twice in one night he called her a child. Pete nodded.

     "Fine! I'm gone. I'm sick of doing this with you when I'm home. You have a problem and you won't commit to it and all I do is try to help you. I bet in your head you make this relationship out to be perfect and amazing when what it really is, is a god damn joke!  I can't do this with you anymore Core! I love you, you know that, but I'm just so tired of pretending like you don't have problem," he said walking to the front door. She stared at him, not showing any sign of remorse at telling him to go, so Pete left, slamming the door shut behind him. Corbin grabbed the bottle of vodka and retreated to the couch, taking a huge gulp...

I'm still trying to get the hang of buzznet, but I guess I will start to post my story from ficwad here...um, I hope someone is reading this:

"The Bitter Pill" by getupngo

Chapter 1: Holiday From Real

Title: "Holiday from Real" - Jack's Mannequin

*************

          Corbin sat lazily on her couch, flipping through the many channels on her digital cable. She stopped when she saw him. He was always on TV, always on the radio, always everywhere she wasn't.  It was a daily frustration, for both of them, she assumed. She was stuck at college, wishing that an education wasn't so important, so she could just be with him. Pete Wentz, Pete Wentz, Pete Wentz. She tried so hard to continue her days without thinking of him, because it wasn't the months that slipped by, they seemed quick, it was each agonizing day apart that made her sad.

She left her couch and went to her bedroom to sulk instead. She kept her walls pretty clear of Pete, minus the Karrang! and Spin magazine covers she tacked to her wall. Corbin laid down on her bed and was listening to her Ipod, where she generally passed over Fall Out Boy songs, because they just made her feel bummed. She goes through stages like this. Right after he leaves, she will basically stalk youtube and buzznet, just to see Pete and to hear his voice. Then after a month or more of his absence, she will stop trying to think about him, because it as the potential to bring her to tears. She wasn't even sure at this point why she stayed with him. He never called her when he was away, he never IM-ed her when he was online. It seemed like he was concerned with only him and his career when Corbin wasn't around.  When Pete was home, however, Corbin couldn't leave his side for five minutes, it was offensive to him. They weren't really an overly sexual couple either, for the most part they were pretty normal as far as she was concerned. They had their days when they would be entranced with each other's bodies, but they also did normal couple things, like dates and hanging around with friends.

She slowly walked home from class around seven. It was a Wednesday night and the Chicago streets were looking pretty bleak, especially in this part of the city. In her loneliness, she found herself thinking about sex. Not just any sex, but the amazing, mind blowing sex she has with Pete in his bed, with his parents just a floor below them. It seemed to fuel his fire to know that someone could catch them, be it his brother or his friends who always just randomly show up when he is home, or his parents. She felt herself sort of yearning for the feeling on Pete's lips on hers, his bass calloused hands sliding up the inside of her thighs and the way his tired eyes always sparkled when he was making her feel good.

She walked in the front door of her dorm building and waited patiently for the elevator. A few more people came in and waited with her, but she didn't feel like saying hello, like she usually does. She had worked herself into a fit thinking about her and Pete and the nights they have spent between the sheets. The elevator couldn't have taken longer and the walk to her room couldn't have been farther. She walked in to luckily find herself roommate-less and free to do as she pleased for at least a little while. She immediately stripped and hopped under a warm shower, which only complicated her situation. She let the water run down her whole body and tried to think about anything but making love. But, she couldn't help it, the mere memories gave her shivers and she longed for him. In lieu of Pete's fingers, she took her own and began to rub herself. She moaned softly. She remembered the day before he left, how they never left the bed, just made love for hours. They would finish and after twenty minutes of kissing they were ready for more. She thought about the sexy things Pete would whisper in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was, how much he loved her breasts, her thighs, and the smell of her hair. She thought about how Pete would climb on top of her, kiss her and when his pants were off, he would take himself in his hand and slowly pull on his dick and groan into her mouth. That always drove her crazy, she would ask him how if felt and he always replied with amazing. He would resume kissing her, making them lower until he was sucking gently on her nipples. She would being moaning as well, trying to pull her own panties off without interrupting him. She remembered how he always entered her without warning. He would just slowly slide his full length inside of her, making her whimper with desire. Then he would start pumping, always slowly at first, but the pace would always get faster and faster...

Corbin returned to her bedroom feeling a little better, clean and well, refreshed. Her phone began ringing suddenly and she picked it up off her desk. The caller ID read "petey omfglolz!!" (it was her subtle way of making fun of his teenies). Excitedly and wondering to what she owed such a pleasure, she said hello.

"Hey baby. Guess where I'm at?" he said, rather loudly. She could hear loud music in the background and checked her clock. It was 9:30 already?

"I give up, where?" she said.

"Berlin!" he replied, with an excited tone. Corbin twisted her face, say what?

"Baby, Berlin? As in Germany?" she asked him. He laughed his amazingly cute laugh.

"No! Berlin. The nightclub on West Belmont Ave? Why aren't you here? I miss you, Core," he said to her, his tone loud but serious. It was when he talked like that that she remembered why she stayed with him all this time. The payoff when he got home was instant and well worth it.

"I just got out of the shower, but I guess I can shoot for an hour?" she replied. He laughed again.

"The shower, huh? What were you doing in there?" he said jokingly. Corbin smiled.

"Thinking about you, babe," she replied, then promptly hung up. She loved playing these games. She hurried and got ready as fast as her hair would dry.