I miss you

It’s a strange phenomena when you hear a song and all you can think of his one person. It’s even more strange when that person is all you think about- dawn to dusk and the darkness in between.

It’s ten times more strange when you feel so possessive of a person you can never posses physically. Emotionally, you can possess someone all you want. Is possess a particularly frightening notion?

At six am on a restless mind, words don’t matter much.

What is emotion? What causes someone to harbor it? What causes emotional relapses? Is it trigger words- trigger people?

Is a female really that bad? Sometimes its easy to believe it when you aren’t sure who you even are anymore. It’s hard to believe anything when you feel like your grasping at infinity with nothing on but a blindfold.

Note to self- sleep less, think more.

Selfish. Opps, now you’re just selfish. Think less, DO more.

Ever wonder what it would be like to run on a treadmill to watch the distance never change? What if you stayed at zero forever? You’d be breathless with no destination.

Don’t you hate when your stomach starts flipping over and over for a reason you can’t pinpoint?

I always like to assume that reason is you. But it could be so many things. That cereal you just ate, the hill you just drove down too fast, the assignment you missed that’s due in days, that dip on the rollercoaster. Life. Don’t they always say: Life is like a rollercoaster. She’s got rollercoaster emotions. You are such a Gemini.

It’s a strange phenomena when your song just begins to play when I think about you. You listen to the lyrics and you wonder- is it possible to be that perfect? The rain on my window begs to differ, but the only thing I see is the light sky. I’m a fool and I don’t care, I hear your name in every word I say.

You ever wonder how your life would be if you took that other road? If maybe you went right, instead of going left? If you choose to leave home instead of opting to stay near your lonely mother?

Happy Mother’s Day from the first 900 miles.

Have you ever cried, because you didn’t know if you wanted to stay or if you wanted to go? Have you ever cried because you felt there was only one option? Have you ever cried because you were lost? You were so lost and all you did all day was be brave? All you did all day was pretend you were more sure than the child in your heart?

Remember when you were little and you lied and said you loved a rainy day? Remember how you got older and you longed for pastels and cloudless, blue skies?

Remember how you got older and you felt more lost than ever? You got older and they told you once you got out of school, life would have purpose and direction and now you’re wondering why no one took off your blindfold yet? Or why no one can tell you one thing to fix it?

When you were little, everyone had the solution for you, now you’re older and the world can do nothing but tell you- keep your chin up, kid. Life ain’t so bad?

Lust?

Chest pounding

Your heart skips a beat

You begin to wonder

Is this the end

Or is it just beginning

You know in your heart

The future never looked so foggy

Yet somewhere deep down

You can’t help but feel hope

Hope

Heavy

Light

Daybreak

Are you up

Or are you down

Are you tired

Or are you awake

Your heart skips a beat

Has it really been so long

How things have changed

How little you’ve missed

How hard it is to really go on

Are you fooling yourself

Are you fooling me?

Is this the end

Or has it only just begun

Love?